The Known and the New - E8

Clancy Denton  0:00  
Welcome to the loud quiet. Ooh, empty nester. Okay what does that mean?

Rick Denton  0:06  
I think that actually probably is the theme of the test. What are we doing? Let's do this. Let's do this thing. Is this recording?

Clancy Denton  0:15  
Okay great. Sans, children just us .we need a tissue box up here. Follow along on our journey and maybe you know we can learn from others

Rick Denton  0:24  
clue how to be empty nester there.

Clancy Denton  0:25  
This is the loud quiet, living the empty nest. Hey guys, welcome back episode eight, the loud quiet. I hope you enjoyed the last episode with JP and Aeryn, we had a lot of fun doing that one just talking about our relationship and our girls relationship. And so that one was a really fun one for us. And I hope that if people are, you know, thinking about selling their house moving their house, you just got to hear their story and we appreciate you guys listening. So this is episode eight. And we are this one will be aired when we will be in another state

Rick Denton  1:07  
will be in Tucson on when this

Clancy Denton  1:09  
right yes, Tucson we in Tucson? Yes.

Rick Denton  1:12  
It's hard to imagine that we will be heading out to Arizona for an entire week for Parents Weekend. So

Clancy Denton  1:20  
a lot. Yeah, for nine days. Yeah, it's longer than in.

Rick Denton  1:24  
I mean, this is our moment, we're actually getting a chance to go back and see the kids that we left the kids that created this empty nest. And now this will be the first time that we're gonna get to see them since that moment in August.

Clancy Denton  1:40  
It is, you know, like we've talked about before, it is different because we do talk to them. Every day Tanner is is tapered off a little bit, I'm sure senior year, you know, but he doesn't need to be in constant contact. But, you know, we still do hear from him probably at least every other day, if not every day. Teagan is every day, which I love. Yeah, absolutely. So

Rick Denton  2:03  
and it makes it like you would think your senior that doesn't doesn't surprise you. Right? I mean, think about us as adults, right? We're not talking to our parents daily or our families daily. So

Clancy Denton  2:13  
and, you know, him being a senior, I think about everything we did with her last year senior year of high school. You had so many events, so many last. And then it just hit me it as like, this is his last Parents Weekend. Yeah. Which is crazy. Yeah. You know, we were we I was just trying to go back and find a picture of the first Parents Weekend his freshman year. And all I could find was this because we realized they didn't have parents weekend that year. It was virtual because of COVID. Virtual right? Yes, we are. Now that's the

Rick Denton  2:51  
whole inside of that virtual network. we'd forgotten that it was sitting down thinking about okay, let's get a picture. Totally had forgotten that I

Clancy Denton  2:59  
was trying to find. I was just like, where why is there not a picture at the football stadium? I know. And then it dawned on me. Oh, yeah, the the team still played, but no one could come right. And then luckily tainer was on the ASU club soccer teams that we still went out there, took his roommates out to dinner, and got to go see his game. So we made it A Parent's Weekend. And it was nice that he did have his soccer team that year. So that we could,

Rick Denton  3:28  
we could do that. But I mean, for our sporting event in I know,

Clancy Denton  3:31  
but I mean, looking at this picture. I mean, that cue and I look similar. He looks that he's gay. He's gained about 30 pounds, I think or when Well, yeah, 10

Rick Denton  3:46  
of those pounds. Yeah, hair on there. Yeah. It is amazing to look back and think that that was you know, three years ago. And it is a reminder of what that experience was like that first. Like, and I think it almost set the pattern for a lot of the parents weekend's that we've done at Arizona State is we didn't do the big parent tailgate. We didn't do the parent activity, because they didn't exist. And so that never became our rhythm are our time to go visit Tanner is a go out there. And it tends to be we land round three. And it's Hey, are you ready for happy hour, and then we go to happy hour and then we go to dinner? And we just enjoy an evening and yes, we've been going to the football games. It just It hasn't been that integrated into the formal Parents Weekend.

Clancy Denton  4:31  
Well, it has though because we did stuff with his fraternity. We just didn't do him at the school. Yeah. Yeah, because we didn't do that because I don't want to do that stuff. I don't need to go do an obstacle race with people. I don't know. And yeah, no, no, but you know, we've done you know, his fraternity through a party the first year. I got to see lots of old dads and moms doing keg stands, which is quite entertaining.

Rick Denton  5:01  
There is certainly a trying to recapture lost glory. And if time had allotted I was about to do and I'm kind of glad that time ran out last

Clancy Denton  5:11  
year there last year you played flip cup. So and you know, to me that was fun. You know we last year we did you know stuff with a group of his other friends and it was so much fun and like this year we're going out to dinner with the roommates and the parents who have all we've all known for the past since freshman year. We're doing that Friday night Saturday, I guess we're gonna be subjected to because now that he's for real 21 He can go on Mill Street, right? So we get to go to all the yards on Mill Street. I told Rick today I said, pack some grody shoes, because I don't know how it's gonna be.

Rick Denton  5:53  
I'm gonna step on this bar floor and rip the sole of my shoe off and it's going to rip my soul out as well. Yeah, I am looking forward to that kind of when that is kind of fun, because we didn't, you know, I went to to do you went to Baylor at the time. It wasn't this huge tailgating scene and that sort of thing I've been I've enjoyed going and seeing some of that scene. You know, you see some of the pictures of parents weekend's that at the SEC schools and some of that aspect. It's been neat to see and I'm looking forward to experiencing some of that now. We're not going to the football game this year for Tanner's. We'll talk about Tegan but we're not going to that flip. Now,

Clancy Denton  6:30  
Tanner said he wasn't interested this year, he said he's already been a couple and they're not playing so well. So we would just like to take that opportunity to just go out to another dinner with. So

Rick Denton  6:43  
that is fun. And that's one thing I think about that, especially as we're going to talk about Tegan, the, I have this comfort level with this school, I have this comfort level, like oh, we're gonna go to sushi Holic, I said that rolls off my tongue just as if I said, Hey, let's go eat at two peas here in Frisco. It's just a place that we know and we're comfortable with. It is well, I don't know what that face was. But it was just a name.

For those that are listening, I got the What are you talking about?

Clancy Denton  7:13  
That's just an interesting restaurant that you picked, because there's some that we go to way more than to

Rick Denton  7:18  
Ohio. I don't want to say those because I don't want people going there because it's crowded.

Clancy Denton  7:24  
And we're going to Uncle cells, which if you're from the Phoenix area, that's another one of our favorites that and I loved that. You know, the other roommates mom whose dad went to ASU, they picked that place. And we're like, Oh, yes, we love that place. And we've taken as roommates there. That's the one that

Rick Denton  7:42  
they felt like they were in The Godfather. Yeah.

Clancy Denton  7:47  
We love that restaurant. So and it's

Rick Denton  7:48  
just it's this comfort level. And I think that's what it just like Tanner is feeling. The comfort level of being a senior in the relaxed nature of being a senior we are to in that Parents Weekend. It's interesting to be a part of the other side of it as well. Now, I'm absolutely looking forward to what we're doing in between. Oh, yeah.

Clancy Denton  8:07  
So we are staying out there the entire week, which is totally different. We're usually in on Friday out on Sunday. But this time, because their weekends, I really felt one is this weekend. One is the next weekend. And so yeah, we just decided just stay out there instead of flying back and forth. So I can knock out a couple days of work here. Back to the Grand Canyon. And we were there in a while. So I'm so

Rick Denton  8:36  
excited about that. Like I really am. I was spent a little time looking at the Park Service website. Oh, this trail. Oh, that view. Oh, that. I love that place. There's just magical about it.

Clancy Denton  8:47  
And I even thought you know, I I even thought I was gonna say to Tegan, do you want us to come get you and you can go to Tanner's I guess now they call them family weekends. But and but then before I even got a chance to her, she was like, Oh, I have plans on Friday and Saturday. And I was like, Okay, well, nevermind. So

Rick Denton  9:08  
it will be fun. So the Grand Canyon is a planned activity. We don't have anything planned for Tuesday and Wednesday of that week. It's going to be we have always talked about and this is related to JP and Aaron with air. But we've always talked about moving to somewhere, right moving to the US and the Phoenix and that valley would be an area to be not that this is a test run or anything like that. We're not planning to move, but it'll feel more like being a resident of a place because it's not. Okay, well, I'll slam my clothes on the side of some dresser for two days and then repack it we actually can kind of calmly enjoy being in the area.

Clancy Denton  9:43  
Well, and like you said to we have been going there for the past three years. And so we do feel and infrequently. I mean, we were going probably you know at least twice a semester if not three times a semester. minus this semester he was abroad. But when we missed it, we were ready to get back out there. And so I do kill him. You know, I do feel like it is a place that we do know. There's still so much more to explore. But we do we have our regular spots. So we like to go and we and we have our hiking spots that we like to do. And so it is nice in that aspect. And then you know, when we go to Tucson on Wednesday, we don't know, you know, you're

Rick Denton  10:31  
like, This is the part that feels a little I mean, I want to talk about just we talked about the cities, there's an element of oh, we get to reconnect with the kids. And I want to talk about a little bit of what that feels like, because there is this feeling of oh, my gosh, we're seeing them. Tucson though talking about the city. I don't know anything about it. It feels weird to start over.

Clancy Denton  10:51  
Well, here's Okay. Here's what I think is different about the reconnecting with the kids with Tanner. We've been there done this, you know, yes, we are so anxious to see him and ready to see him. But I don't feel the same. I mean, I was counting down the days on my calendar until we get to see Tegan because, you know, like I said, she and I were pretty much connected at the hip before she left. And again, we have talked so much and you know, so it is different Tanner. I look at it as we get to go into his world and see him and he's, you know, he's fine. He's gotten taken as to but it's just different because this is his fourth year of

Rick Denton  11:40  
charity. It's just Yes, we've already done the arrival, we've done the hug, we've done the, you know, the first reconnecting after that. It I still sort of feel it though, I feel that excitement even with Tanner, I know you do, as well as the chance to get to see him is is. It is different. Yes. It is also the sort of because it's been so empty. It's going to be fun to see a kid to do something with a kid and reconnect in that way.

Clancy Denton  12:14  
I think I just realized that. We're going to probably have to be going to him now wherever he ends up in law school. And you know, he might not be back home next summer at all. So I think I'm just already in that mindset of we have to travel to him. And see, you know, so normal.

Rick Denton  12:37  
Yeah, anything special? It's

Clancy Denton  12:38  
just how you get it is I mean, you know, yeah. I love Tanner, we have a blast together. You know, he and I have a really good time together. So, you know, I do I look forward to Parents Weekend is just a lot of fun because his group of friends are a lot of fun. And so we and they incorporate the parents into that fun. So,

Rick Denton  12:59  
you know, as we're talking about that, I think what it is we're trying to get not dance around, but talk about it. You know, why does it feel different? One thinks of it just simply the familiarity, right? As excited as I am to see Tanner. I've done the Parents Weekend, and I kind of know what I'm getting into. I know what it's going to be like and I'm looking forward to what I know I'm gonna see with Tegan with Tegan with Tucson with all that I'm excited, just as excited. I have no earthly idea. I don't know how to go into that stadium. I don't know. I don't know how to get in and out of that campus. I don't know. We were asking her what restaurants do we go

Clancy Denton  13:36  
to? Well, because when we dropped her off, that campus was pretty empty still. So now it's going to be totally different. Whereas we can't park in a parking lot that's right there or we can't you know, so yeah, it will be different. And, and yes, she's you know, already has, you know, the one group of friends that she wants us to take out on Wednesday night and the other group of friends that were taken out on Friday night. Tanner, ironically, will be in Tucson, of all things roughing a soccer game on Thursday. So we get to enjoy time he gets to actually see Tegan during this week as well, which will be nice for them because they haven't seen each other either. So yeah, I'd actually you know, and then we have the game on Saturday. And then you know, we actually asked because, you know, I said if you want to sit in the student section, that's fine. We did buy you a ticket but you're not going to hurt our feelings. And she was like, No, I want to see y'all I want to be with you. I was like Okay, good. You know, I want you to to but

Rick Denton  14:33  
and he did it, you know he did the same. I think that's probably true. Both of our kids are gonna be like that now. In our sophomore year or junior year and your senior year, maybe you're gonna sit with mom and dad for the first half BA and that'll be

Clancy Denton  14:48  
mom and dad can leave.

Rick Denton  14:51  
I like it. Now when it Duke plays Arizona and basketball, totally different story, but that's next year and I look forward to that. Yeah, it's it is, all of this is I'm excited about and I know that you know, kind of a little tease, we intend to do some talking and videoing and just kind of documenting what the experience is like out there. So I'm also looking forward to sharing that with the listeners and the viewers as well of kind of living, living this parents week, living these parents weekend's and the interim week with us.

Clancy Denton  15:26  
Yeah. And it'll, it'll be interesting to see, it was good that, you know, Erin and JP talked about how they related to Kennedy a little bit differently now that, you know, she's been off, I know, they've only been off for, you know, it'll be a month and a half, I guess, when we see Tegan. But, you know, they have had to do a lot of life on their own. And so it will be interesting to see how our relationships are changing and just, you know, growing in different ways, and,

Rick Denton  16:04  
and because we can think that these conversations are exposing us and we are we do feel like we see this life. But when we see Tegan competently navigating campus events, and she will do it subconsciously, it's not like she's showing that to us. But as she confidently navigates campus, as she confidently introduces us to this group of friends, or, or the will just see this kind of naturalness to her in that environment. Whereas all of us were experiencing the environment for the first time when we were moving you're in. So when we see that, how will that change the R? How will that change our perception of Tegan? And then also, how's that going to change our perception of ourselves as we walk away and see? Yeah, we really did launch child to

Clancy Denton  16:52  
wow. And I think it's interesting. Talking about the different friends. The kids that we know who stayed close to home or went to a Texas school or went to one of the schools that a lot of Frisco kids go to? I know, sometimes they do parents weekends with those same families. You know, we have gotten introduced to completely new people and people that are very fun and interesting. And we've had a great time getting to know Tanner's roommates, families. And so it will be interesting to get now we get a whole different group of children that I didn't even think about that we are adults they're not. Yeah. And it'll be interesting to see, though, because Tegan has fallen into a group that are they're older, she has she has some girls on her floor that we're going to take out to dinner. And but the other ones that are older, you know, I don't if they're going out with us on Friday night that our parents may not be here and a couple of them are from the area. So their parents may not be kind of damaged just weekend, right? So it will be interesting to meet a whole different group of people that I'm sure are going to be completely different than Tanner's great, you know, they just, they run in different circles. And so it'll be it's gonna be interesting to see.

Rick Denton  18:17  
That's funny. I agree with that I would have thought of that I had, you're hitting me with an epiphany right here because I was planning to meet Tegan and her friends. I had not thought of the extension of meeting her friends, parents, the ones that are around Oh, that's gonna be fun. I hope. If they're not fun, we're not going to tell them about this episode. If they are fun. We you can listen to this episode.

Clancy Denton  18:38  
Yeah, no, I think I'm I'm really looking forward to it. The packing is not fun. We can packings a lot easier. Well, and it's not even when we go on it because we have been on trips that lasted longer than 1012 days or, but you know what you're doing. You have your activities that you know what you're doing every day evening. This is you know, we're just, we'll just, we're just going. Phoenix. I mean, I have I have the Grand Canyon scheduled and you know, that's the

Rick Denton  19:16  
end game. Right. So we've got sure it is we're becoming residents for a week. And what does that mean? You're right. The packing hasn't been fun. We're hoping that the flight all of this hopefully this isn't. Right. Why on earth are we having greater

Clancy Denton  19:29  
storms in September? Frustrating? Oh, yeah. So hopefully everything will. We've given ourselves, you know, we have a four hour buffer to get to dinner tomorrow night.

Rick Denton  19:40  
If I'm not sitting somewhere at Uncle cells with one of their martinis in my hand tomorrow night. I am not happy. And I realized when this airs, it will be in the past. So you can go there to the q&a section and ask, you know, Hey, did Rick get his martini? So

Clancy Denton  19:56  
they're martinis are? They're good. They're good. And they're big. They do they do a big four.

Rick Denton  20:04  
They do. Brought to you by Uncle sells

Clancy Denton  20:08  
salon restaurant. If you're in Scottsdale, yes. Try it, it will tag them. Yeah. So that you know. Yeah, speaking of you know if our planes on time and everything this, we do have a text of the week even though we've got some other ideas,

Rick Denton  20:25  
right isn't sure if we were gonna

Clancy Denton  20:26  
get one because we did just record on earlier this week and we're trying to double up so we'll have something to release. But so yes, this was Tanner's text today to do both of us. He said, What time do y'all get in tomorrow? And I said three o'clock? And he said, Any chance we could hit a cheeky grocery run? Okay. My response was, I don't know what that means. I mean, what I'm guessing he wants us to fund his parents weekend fun is what it is which we live. I think that's what it is. But

Rick Denton  21:04  
I just thought he was just being Hey, quick grocery doesn't want to use his groceries. The child uses words

Clancy Denton  21:09  
that I don't I mean, I know what cheeky is, but a cheeky girl she run? I don't know, I was like, what store? Are we going?

Rick Denton  21:17  
Any Hill? I know Nikki grocery is not something I'm doing. Like, I don't

Clancy Denton  21:20  
know what that means. But we can probably work that out. And, and they both I mean, and we do that every time we go even though we give them grocery budget, when we're there. We'd still pick it up. And Tegan has already said, Oh, I'm looking forward to going to the store, even though she doesn't really need this was because she has her meals on campus, which she is thoroughly enjoying. So, but she was excited to go to the grocery store. So I don't know,

Rick Denton  21:51  
man, well, it'll be fun to do a cheeky grocery run. So we will let everyone know what a grocery run is. Oh, my goodness. Well, I'm looking forward to it's gonna be a fun trip. Little little break from this empty nest world and reconnecting with them.

Clancy Denton  22:08  
Yeah. And it'll be you know, I mean, it's a nice getaway for us. Now, you know, because they'll be in class while we're laying out by the pool.

Rick Denton  22:19  
You will be by the pool. But, I mean, we're being almost flippant about Yeah, we're gonna swing by the Grand Canyon. That's a life journey. For many. We're lucky that our kids are in school at a place. And we're lucky that we can go out there and spend the time with them to enjoy that and an experience that.

Clancy Denton  22:38  
Yeah, so we will hopefully be doing some remote video. And you'll see how this goes. Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have said that. But you already alluded to it. So yeah, so that's our plan is to talk about things along, stay tuned the trip. So

Rick Denton  22:57  
you know, before we close out, I did want to let everybody know, we're trying to do a better job of including Q and A's and polls, in the Spotify version. So for those of you that are watching and listening on Spotify, there actually is a way for you to put information in the q&a section. And we'll be putting out polls from time to time to kind of, we may think a certain opinion, but I'm kind of curious what the audience thinks about something. And so that'll be interesting. So Spotify, when you're there, just scroll down, you'll see that we'd love to connect with you. And hey, if you've got a tip that's interesting, we may be showing your tip on the screen and sharing your insight and we'd love for you to be a part of the show in that way.

Clancy Denton  23:38  
And I think also on you can comment on Oh, absolutely.

Rick Denton  23:42  
And the like it's just this one's built into Spotify specifically, but certainly on YouTube. Absolutely. Throw a comment, Apple podcasts, leave a review. Let us get some feedback there. That's how folks get to hear about this and you could just share that with others. So here we are wrapping up episode eight hard to believe we actually got here, but it was another session of the loud quiet, living the nest

Transcribed by https://otter.ai