Short and not so sweet - E36

Clancy Denton  0:00  
Welcome to the loud quiet. Ooh, empty nester. Okay. What does that mean?

Rick Denton  0:06  
I think that actually probably is the theme of the nest. What are we doing? Let's do this. Let's do this thing. Is this Recording? yes Okay,

Clancy Denton  0:15  
great. sans, children just us. We need a tissue box up here. Follow along on our journey and maybe you know we can learn from others.

Rick Denton  0:23  
I don't have a clue how to be empty nesters

Clancy Denton  0:25  
this is the loud, quiet, living the empty nest.

Rick Denton  0:31  
Everyone, Episode 36 of the loud quiet Thanks again for listening. We really do appreciate knowing that y'all are out there listening to us as we navigate this emptiness thing. It's got a ties, it's got its lows, but it's great to have y'all there.

Clancy Denton  0:46  
Yeah, last week's episode was fun. And you know, and most of ours had been pretty light hearted. We've had some more serious discussions, you know, we were trying to figure out what are we talking about this week, and you know, that we're just kind of in a funk right now, like, their kids are great. They are doing amazing things. But all the grades, all the ambitions,

Rick Denton  1:11  
all of

Clancy Denton  1:12  
that really good. That's just

Rick Denton  1:14  
our, our health. Yeah, we've got our health. Our kids are healthy, there's a lot that's good.

Clancy Denton  1:20  
They get to do things, but then there's, you know, some things that are just kind of, you know, making things difficult, but just not as fun as you know,

Rick Denton  1:35  
there's a something that I don't want to say, but I am going to say is that sometimes it feels like it steals a little of the joy. That and that's the part that actually I have to guard against is not letting that happen. But as a as a human as someone with emotions.

Clancy Denton  1:51  
And what do they say joy is not, you know, it's,

Rick Denton  1:56  
oh, I

Clancy Denton  1:56  
didn't choose to be happy. Joy you should always have in your life. But, you know, there's times that you, you know, you just look in the sermon today was about prayer. And, you know, there's times you're like, are you areas of prayer? Because we've been praying it for a long time. And it's just, and yes, we know he has. And yes, we know, it's in his timing that you know, and I think just also, being in Austin yesterday, and, and seeing your mom and it just,

Rick Denton  2:34  
it's such a delight to be able to see her. And there's times like, we laughed, when we were there. There are things there's things that there are times that you may have even seen you just turn around and stare out the window. Because when you see the woman what she I know we've actually talked about this on the show, but it's just like that just starts to wear on you you see someone who was so vibrant, and has just had her.

Clancy Denton  2:58  
Yeah, well, and I think it yesterday was really the first time during both visits that there was just no things have started to change a little bit even more so and it's just

Rick Denton  3:18  
her eyes crackling. Right. But that, and to be clear not to say me, but it that's just, it's anyway, so that's like, that's why you and I were struggling with what to do, because I think some of our energy is just sucked out right now.

Clancy Denton  3:33  
There's, there's Yeah, and we have so many things coming out to look forward to but you have the day to day. And and especially because there are several things wrapped up with, you know, your mom's situation, family situations, extended family situations. And so yeah, it just feels like a lot of our conversations lately have been consumed by okay, what are the next things that need to be done? What are the you know, and we just learned about

Rick Denton  4:04  
on this walk that we just did. So I'm gonna send this email to this person. And none of these are necessarily bad.

Clancy Denton  4:11  
Camping. windy here today doesn't like

Rick Denton  4:15  
everything I'm describing here is like, do you have to take care of this item to take care of that? To some degree? Thank goodness, we have the chance to take care of it. It's just I think, okay, taking this back to the emptiness conversation. I think the way I'm feeling and the way you're feeling right now, is sort of a reminder that it didn't just turn rainbows and unicorns when the kids left. There's a lot of rainbows and a lot of unicorns, but Well, there's a lot of trolls and underpasses, too.

Clancy Denton  4:45  
I mean, I think you know, we also had just not so great travel day yesterday, if you live anywhere near the Dallas area, you know, it was just covered with storms and rain and so we did the A trip to Austin, which ended up turning into a you know, even longer trip made it made it both ways fine, but just let's

Rick Denton  5:08  
Well, what do you have three hours total three hours delay. So on a day trip, it wears on you.

Clancy Denton  5:14  
Yeah. And so you know, I think we were just tired. We were just like, What can we talk about? And so yeah, it's just in I think, also, I think your sister, so then good yesterday, we, you know, we're having to talk about some things and she said, You know, I just wish we could go back. I wish my mom didn't have Alzheimer's. I wish, you know, things went back to the way they were. And, you know, yeah, we all do. And it just, it resonated

Rick Denton  5:39  
with all of us. Because we're like, yeah, no, we definitely agree with that. And, yeah, it's a struggle with the, with the job right now. Yeah, my my company is, is I've been at it for seven years. And 24 is a hard year for a lot of businesses. I'm not unique in this, and it's been a struggle, and it's one of those. Maybe this is kind of how it's all woven together, when you're doing all the right things. But the results aren't there. That's what can be so frustrating. And not that there's anything to do or not do with my mom's Alzheimer's, but you just you feel powerless. Yeah. And I said, power lessons.

Clancy Denton  6:17  
You can make that statement with anything. Losing weight, get help, if you're doing all the right things, and it's still not working, then what? What else needs to be tweaked or changed? And that's,

Rick Denton  6:31  
uh, you know what to take that though, just to say, I this isn't a case of what else needs to be changed.

Clancy Denton  6:37  
It's just the way it is. That's a hard now because I know what you're doing. And I know how, you know, you did, though, change some things this year. And they were very beneficial, but

Rick Denton  6:52  
not to the point of a client yet. And so that's the that's the that's the challenge.

Clancy Denton  7:01  
And there we go. There's our grumble grumble, and there's our venting. And I mean, that's what we said yesterday, Rachel was like, I just felt like, like, I'm venting all the time. But you know, what? Have

Rick Denton  7:10  
you. Do you ever feel guilty about venting? Because I do somebody's like, right now, I just had this guilt feeling. Because you know what? We are healthy. It's a sunny day, right here behind the cameras, a beautiful home and beautiful kids and all of that. Sometimes I find myself, I feel guilty. And then I'm like, Well, no, it's okay for something to suck. I

Clancy Denton  7:30  
think you should feel guilty or not. If you're venting, and not trying to do something about the things that you're venting about, that's when it gets a little bit like, okay, you know, we can't just keep going down the woe is me path. Right? I mean, so, but you know, it's not like, we're not doing things to get in every, every single one of these situations, I was meaning to bury our heads in the sand and not be involved with anything going on. And then but we choose not

Rick Denton  8:09  
to. And it's that, and it's that there is so much that's going on good that it's it. That's the part that I sometimes wonder, but

Clancy Denton  8:18  
it's fine to be angry, it's fine to be. I mean, God gave us emotions for a reason. We're not always supposed to be Pollyanna about everything. If we did, we'd all be I don't know, living in a cardboard box. So, you know, there's times that you got to, you know, and again, I'm not saying it. I don't know what I'm trying to say. It's just Yes. I think it's fine. There are times that you have to Oh, yeah. express your emotions and then and be angry and be. This is not fair.

But then, yeah, but then you do you look at everything that's going on great in our lives. Yeah.

Rick Denton  9:05  
You know, there are bombs falling on us. Right. You know, there are countries that are at war right now. It's and that's the part that it's

Clancy Denton  9:12  
it but well, and even like Rachel said yesterday, I keep bringing everybody event because we just had a long talk, you know, said there are family situations that are way worse than what we're dealing with. And I know we are we are blessed that there are sources of resources to be able to provide the type of care that your mom is getting and Nana is getting. But yeah, and yeah, there are but when you're in it, it's

Rick Denton  9:44  
so we hope that inspired everyone.

Clancy Denton  9:45  
So there's our little clip of if you were if you were listening

Rick Denton  9:49  
to this while you were running or say you were at the gym using podcasts as motivation,

Clancy Denton  9:54  
this gave you a little burst of what you're angry at And

Rick Denton  10:01  
then with the next episode everybody's complaints on

Clancy Denton  10:06  
give me your list of grievances and we will go we will air we're ending this one because it's the wind is cold here. It's April and it's cold and I don't like it. So there's my there's my great pens right there at the end.

Rick Denton  10:23  
I love it. Well, I'm counting on a more positive element next week. I think it's going to be there. For today though, I think we will close out another episode of the loud quiet living the empty nest

Transcribed by https://otter.ai