One and Done - E5

Clancy Denton  0:00  
Welcome to the loud quiet. Ooh, empty nester. Okay. What does that mean?

Rick Denton  0:06  
I think that actually probably is the theme of the podcast. What are we doing? Let's do this. Let's do this thing. Is this Recording. Okay, 

Clancy Denton  0:16  
Sans, children, Jeff does we need a tissue box up here to follow along on our journey and maybe you know we can learn from others.

Rick Denton  0:23  
I don't have a clue how to be empty nesters, if

Clancy Denton  0:25  
this is the loud, quiet, living the empty nest

Rick Denton  0:31  
Welcome to another episode of the loud quiet. This is episode five, which we'll get a name after we record the episode. So we're going to find out what the title of the episode is as we go through it today. Today, I always want to start off by saying thank you everybody for listening. Thank you for the comments. We've we've been really encouraged by what we've seen out there. And thank you all to for participating in your stories when it came to sharing what you've done as a caregiver. As we talked about in the last episode. That was a lot of fun. One thing I do want to tell our listeners today that it's gonna be a little different, right? And so I encourage you all to be patient with us. As this is our first time with a guest as y'all can see on the screen here and those that are listening, you'll be able to see here in a little bit. But, Clancy I would love for you to introduce our guests.

Clancy Denton  1:18  
So yes, very exciting. First guests, so we had to pick a very special a couple. This is Warden, Ashley, and I have known Ashley going on 14 years. We I started off as an instructor and one of her classes and we built a friendship and then now she's my in quotes. Boss, she is my boss. And she's my she's my boss friend. No, you wouldn't. So, so yeah, so we I went to work for the gym that her company opened on their property. And I mean, we have been through it all. We have been through birth of our members, chill, like our children, our members. Well, hey, we do ask members of the gym, we're always looking at the date and seeing that some of them now are younger than our children. So we've been through births. We've been through deaths, we've been through relationships, issues with our sons, we've been through just all kinds of all kinds of things. You name it. They have been married for 23 years today actually.

Rick Denton  2:43  
Reservations Happy anniversary, y'all. It's right. For y'all as well.

Clancy Denton  2:50  
So Happy anniversary. And the reason that I really wanted to have them on is that I think that they can really speak to a category of empty nesters that, you know, we don't understand because we have more than one child right. There are a lot of people out there that we know that do have only children. So that is why we invited them on today was to talk about you know how it is being an empty nester and have an only child you know, you're one and done yet. You don't have the spare child.

Rick Denton  3:24  
Well in the house. I want to talk about it. But there's no like we had sort of a glide slope and yes, of sorts. Yeah, there's was. Yeah, but it's their story to tell not mine. But I'm interested to hear how that perspective was because we've never had this conversation. I've never had this conversation with him before. So I am looking forward to hearing it.

Clancy Denton  3:41  
So welcome you guys on very

Ashley DuLaney  3:45  
exciting,

Ward DuLaney  3:46  
loving your podcast. I mean, interesting. We didn't read any books. So now we're having a good backfill. Yeah,

Clancy Denton  3:56  
make sure we're doing it right.

Rick Denton  3:58  
You're we're doing transcripts from every episode, so maybe that'll become a future book. So we'll all have something to read from later. Yeah, I really do appreciate y'all being here. This is gonna be fun to have a guest and have y'all learn from learn from y'all. Really. That's what I'm looking forward to today. Yeah.

Clancy Denton  4:15  
Help other people out there that, you know, are in the same situation at all with the only child so. So our kids have. They have spent some summer time together because when Ashley and I were working, we had to find things for them to do so this is a picture of them. On the screen that, you know, Ashley's dad took them to one of the Plano recreation centers and they just had a ball and Ashley and I always call this picture Tegan and her bodyguards. Because it's like cheating in the middle and the two boys on the other side of her but they this was like 20 I think 2015 So they were really young. Yes. Because the difference,

Rick Denton  4:55  
right? Yeah, talking about 15 It's only eight yours if I do quick math and my gosh, what a change. Thank you always looks like a lumberjack.

Ward DuLaney  5:07  
 I don't I don't know, it was interesting. We were at Costco because we had to get his picture on a card so he could use it. And the lady was thinking herself that there's gonna be a point where we intersect, which was oh, yeah, he's gonna go past me. So he decided to double take she's like, wait, wait, wait, he's how old?

Clancy Denton  5:28  
Yeah.

Rick Denton  5:31  
Yeah, yeah, we could we could do all sorts of stories about kids growing up where right I still remember the first time that Tanner beat me in one on one basketball is like alright, that's the last time I'm gonna play basketball with

Ward DuLaney  5:43  
this fall we retire when they beat us.

Clancy Denton  5:47  
Yeah, so Why don't y'all just jump. Tell us about you know how it was. I mean, think back to when you took Hayden. Just school freshman year. He's now a junior. So how was it realizing that was your one shot? That was? You know, that was it. You weren't gonna get to do that. Again. I think it'll start with the emotional mama. It was tough. Yeah, it was.

Ashley DuLaney  6:13  
Yeah, we were so regimented on schedules and so many things. And then it just became Go, go go straight shopping, get it graduation, you know, summer and then we let it packed up and just left. It was just so busy that Yeah, you can't even get start getting sad because it didn't hit me until we were leaving

Ward DuLaney  6:38  
orientation and moving a man and you

Ashley DuLaney  6:41  
just stayed so busy up until that moment. So and

Ward DuLaney  6:45  
then it just hits you. It hits you right when you say goodbye. And yeah.

Rick Denton  6:49  
Would you like where you're using that busyness as a distraction? Yeah, absolutely. When you think back to it, was that a conscious choice? Or are you looking back and it was just a way to, quote medicate your way through the emotions?

Ashley DuLaney  7:03  
Well, we also were dealing with the death of my dad. So we had graduation. I mean, it was just like, bam, bam, like doctor's appointments immediately. Hayden was working all summer and then my father passed and then we went, I mean, it was just, I don't think we could breed that summer. Yeah, we did. Yeah.

Clancy Denton  7:22  
And Ashley, you almost didn't you almost didn't go to Hayden's orientation because you're you know, but

Ashley DuLaney  7:30  
I stay with doctors and nurses and but I didn't want to miss stuff that one child was going through and I

Ward DuLaney  7:39  
think it's important to remember that Ashley is an only child too and so she's going through with her dad. Oh yeah, that's passing and she's it

Ashley DuLaney  7:48  
and we had a lot to do in between getting Hayden ready getting my mom ready without my dad and then we had you know, we had a trip to Hawaii which was a great we could send my dad's ashes in Hawaii but it was a I needed that to like five days or whatever just to destress from everything and then knowing we're coming back and taking Hayden away seven glorious days Yes. Yeah,

Ward DuLaney  8:19  
we had a blast we did absolutely everything and I wanted to slow down time. We knew the inevitable was coming and Hayden was leaving and so we wanted to be together we wanted to be together and I honestly looking back that was that vacations fly right but for whatever reason all vacation seemed like it it lad like I really got to enjoy. The nights were long in the mornings in Hawaii or early it seems like the entire island wakes up at five o'clock. That vacation just felt like it lasted and it's what we needed. Yeah.

Rick Denton  8:54  
That is really good that y'all had that memory in Hawaii, I'd forgotten about that story. I forgot that y'all had that trip and I love that you're saying that it actually slowed down for you. I remember the road trip with Tanner and those memories of taking him to school so different timing but those memories really cement when it's in that period of intensity and so I have to imagine which didn't I'll do certain like surf lessons or something when there's something that and these are things that you're going to carry for forever and so will he

Ward DuLaney  9:21  
we did so many things that Ashley never would have agreed to

Ashley DuLaney  9:25  
it just a days that I just said you plan it and I will show up and I now looking back I don't think I would have signed up for most of it

Ward DuLaney  9:37  
when we showed up to the raft and oh yeah, I'm gonna go on a catamaran it was just going to be a nice day cruise but now it's a wrap with two motors and grubs for your feet. I've seen your life

Ashley DuLaney  9:51  
but you know I we forget and I just kind of was like okay, I guess I don't have a say in that. He's never been like

Ward DuLaney  9:57  
that where she just opened for everything and you You were and you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, both.

Clancy Denton  10:03  
I think you needed that you just needed that release after everything that you would, you know, gone through. And so yeah, but Okay, so I talked about it, because I'm sure it's seared in your memory because it's seared in ours talking about when you walked away from him or what, you know, last moment. Yeah. Last time.

Ashley DuLaney  10:25  
Yeah, we, I said, Let's, I was like, ready to go. Because, you know, we had five hours to drive home and it was

kind of a weird thing I was you were you just,

I was like, we're done. I'm like, let's just get let's go. Well, I'm done. I wasn't wanting to do the goodbye. He drove us or he walked us down from the dorm. And, I mean, he was just like, by how to love you. And I just, I basically got in the car and start crying and had ugly cry face. And I think a lot of it, I was scared. I was like, I was like crying. Wonder if we don't want each other anymore. Exactly. And that's a scary, I think thing for everybody. And so, yeah, so I cried pretty much. Most I don't even remember that coming home. I mean, it was just kind of a blur and but I knew he was happy. I knew I what, I'm lucky that we can leave him and he was like, I'm gonna do great, you know, and not bawling my crying, screaming, remembering

Ward DuLaney  11:30  
a sense of confidence that I hadn't seen that. And like, he just he felt ready. And it was that was so comforting to me. Like, I'm like, man, we did it. I mean, I think, why'd you because that's such an accomplishment as a parent to be able to say, you're ready. And I saw it in his eyes. And he was just confident. And I was like, he's got this thing,

Ashley DuLaney  11:50  
especially when, like, you know, I'm trying to make his bed and where do you want to? You know, I'm gonna fold your clothes up. And he's like, Mom, I got it.

Ward DuLaney  11:57  
And he's putting up flags and you know, all the, but it's making a man cave. And she was

Ashley DuLaney  12:02  
I thought he'd want me to make this. He was like, Okay, it's done. Okay, let's go.

Rick Denton  12:08  
And was that the last time the bed was made? Do we have any records of this?

Ashley DuLaney  12:12  
Hopefully, he's he says he makes it. I don't know.

Rick Denton  12:17  
That confidence that that feeling? I remember that. That feeling of you know, that you're sad. You hate that sadness of the separation. But there's that pride of Yeah, we did it. When you get that first happy text or happy call or whatever from the kid.

Clancy Denton  12:39  
Tanner and I did feel along the way I felt like y'all dad, he's got this. No problem. When we love Tegan, I knew she had it. But I didn't know if she knew she had it. And now, yes. At this point, she's having a ball and she's doing great. And yes, as a parent that makes you feel so good. Because Ashley and I see all the Facebook posts of kids that are still Yeah, I want to come home. I don't like it. You know, I can't do this. And you know, I think I think they all to some degree can I just think they don't know that they can. So

Rick Denton  13:19  
yeah, Ashley, you said that phrase that we chuckled about, but she said I don't know if I don't know if we're gonna like each other. Exactly. I don't know how exactly you said it. That's such like, that's the fear going into it. Heck, I remember tear field conversations months before the kids went away where we had similar sort of fears expressed to each other and working through that. I want to turn it away from Hayden for a second and to y'all you've now you've driven home. You're by yourself and there's no glideslope right? It's kid and then boom. No, kid, you didn't get to do it sort of half like we did.

Clancy Denton  13:52  
Yeah. Tell him like, tell him what y'all did. Please tell them what you did. About You got Paulie. Oh,

Ashley DuLaney  14:01  
see, we did a lot of changes.

Ward DuLaney  14:03  
We did. We did we went live with in the wrong direction. Our first half. But I thought it was great.

Ashley DuLaney  14:12  
We took Hayden's room apart and redid it and

Clancy Denton  14:15  
oh yeah, y'all did

Rick Denton  14:16  
that too. Like a friend's episode

Ashley DuLaney  14:20  
comes in and he thought it was a new Airbnb and I just I thought I was trying to make it more adult but I guess you're not supposed to do that but he was fine with it.

Ward DuLaney  14:31  
I mean, I took maybe that was how I kind of got through it to where I came home and I got busy and I wanted to just rip rip. I can say shit right? This is a I wanted to rip shit.

Rick Denton  14:44  
Put an E flag on it. You can say whatever word you want. You just got the E flag so here we go fire away award.

Ward DuLaney  14:49  
Wanted to. Yeah, I want I wanted to find busy for me just to kind of maybe take my mind off of it. But obviously it started in his room.

Ashley DuLaney  14:59  
So we started his room. have new furniture, everything, take everything down and then thought, Well, we already have one dog who we need to. So we each have one. So that purchase was a mini golden doodle, along with our Schnauzer, and right now, so now we have two dogs, but it's so bad. Dog

Clancy Denton  15:22  
came home to a new room and a new dog.

Rick Denton  15:26  
Wonder if he'd come to the right house?

Ashley DuLaney  15:29  
Yeah, the hairs talking, um, they, it was very good. It gave us something else to do because the new dog introduced our old dog to dog parks. So that was another thing. We're like, oh, there's something we can do on a Saturday.

Ward DuLaney  15:42  
It was weird. So were you ever started raising dogs? Because the one was very anxious? Anxiety? Yeah. So we're raising different kinds of parents.

Rick Denton  15:53  
I'm hearing themes. I'm hearing busyness I'm hearing activity I'm hearing and those are pretty common ones that we've talked about, right? How did y'all I want to ask sort of how did y'all come to realize I know it's still a journey realized? No, no, we actually do like each other. I imagine there's a series of things you've discovered doing together make sense? I also imagine that this is a period to sort of discover yourselves individually as well. How are you balancing that? That things to do together to stay connected and time to be able to learn things on our own?

Ward DuLaney  16:26  
Yeah, I think the weirdest thing about the empty nest it was like, You're just it's you're just have to go in reverse immediately. And back to dating and just being in that relationship part without child without all the,

Rick Denton  16:43  
you know, responsive. 18 years. Absent? You've done that.

Ashley DuLaney  16:47  
Yeah. And we've been friends since we're like 1415. So we've known everything as friends, but it's almost like you kind of just be it's put aside for 18 years, because everything was my Hayden. And so we just had to find that again. And you have to kind of give and take. I mean, I never saw myself as a bike rider. But that got us through 20. Like, we like to, it's not the greatest thing to do, but you enjoy it. And she looks good in span. And yes, if lots of spandex.

Rick Denton  17:24  
You just got into bike riding this year in spandex. Okay.

Ward DuLaney  17:28  
I'm always in the back. 

Ashley DuLaney  17:29  
a

word started to do volleyball when Hayden was a senior. And so he continued that every Tuesday, it's his day to go play volleyball with some guys, and I stay home and you get to watch. Bravo.

Ward DuLaney  17:45  
Oh, yeah, she gets to roll. Bravo, weirdly.

Rick Denton  17:51  
That's not happening here.

Clancy Denton  17:53  
And I could you can ask us anything about pop culture? And we'll be able to answer it. Anything else outside of that,

Ward DuLaney  18:01  
huh? Yeah, probably not really talk in depth about I see here really hills.

Rick Denton  18:09  
We're gonna need to pull you out of this environment here. There's one thing about reconnecting with the spouse, but you got to maintain who you are as well.

Clancy Denton  18:17  
So now, y'all just recently started doing so that y'all are doing together.

Ashley DuLaney  18:24  
So we have a couple of like, when Hayden went to school, we're like, we should do something fun. And we've always kind of wanted to dance lessons. Well, it's taken two years, but I pulled the plug and signed us up. And we love it. We're learning so we go to this studio and do salsa and two step and soon we're gonna be learning swing dance. And it's just us too. And it's something that needs that we're both new at. So it's not like him trying to teach me tennis or something. But at least this way, we're both new to it. And we both mess up all the time. And but it's fun. It's and it's not, you know, five hours of bike riding, it's kind of

Ward DuLaney  19:05  
reconnected. The funniest is when our first day when we're meeting our instructor, and he asked what kind of dancing, we're used to and I said, Well, we're mostly grinders.

Ashley DuLaney  19:21  
Like, I don't think they teach that anymore, but that's what it was.

Ward DuLaney  19:24  
Funny, he'll say, he'll say Do you mind like he always asked to take Ashley's hand and show me what we're working on? I'm like, No, go go go. My hand and I'm like, Yeah, let's go.

Clancy Denton  19:37  
But so that 90 The 90s Club boobs are not

Ashley DuLaney  19:42  
not one of those classes now.

Clancy Denton  19:49  
I do. If there if there is a recital, I do expect an invite to a recital.

Ashley DuLaney  19:56  
Lots of people want to see this. Yeah. Now,

Rick Denton  20:01  
if we were more professional in what we do here, we would now cut to a scene of your metric class and visualize it. So none of us know what's about to happen. We'll see.

Ward DuLaney  20:14  
In our video,

Rick Denton  20:15  
did you say now? Is this a class? That's just y'all too? Or are there other people in the

Ashley DuLaney  20:18  
class? Just us and a private instructor? Okay, so

Rick Denton  20:22  
y'all went all in? Yeah, we were there with a bunch of people that are learning to dance for their weddings. And so you see that on the other side,

Ward DuLaney  20:32  
there. The first time we went was Friday night, it was pretty busy. And as she I mean, I was fine with it,

Ashley DuLaney  20:37  
like social hours and things. And then, which I don't know about

Ward DuLaney  20:42  
the back or soul showers or social dances. So even after you like themed party, you can go and hang out.

Ashley DuLaney  20:48  
But I don't know, I can see a lot of new couples learning you can see, the has, or the fiance has been forced to do it. And your dad's, you know, probably learning to dance. And it's so it's just a neat thing that it really works your brain. That's what I just learned that the whole counting thing. And

Ward DuLaney  21:12  
I think it's one of those pieces of getting back to that dating part, you know, and finding our relationship again. So cool. Cool deal. I mean, yeah, I would, I mean, I can't imagine telling myself 20 years ago that I'm going to take dance lessons someday. As I get older, I'm just like, housewives here dancing there, whatever.

Clancy Denton  21:39  
It's give and take.

Rick Denton  21:41  
I don't know where to weave. So I guess the give was the biking and then the taking is the dance classes. So that's the back and forth there. Where does the OC and Bravo balance out? You need to find something there?

Ashley DuLaney  21:54  
It's just like, fantasy football. He kind of does that better. Okay. Very good.

Ward DuLaney  22:03  
That's my hobby. That's my thing.

Clancy Denton  22:05  
Yeah, absolutely. All right. So let's, let's shift gears a little bit, because I do want to talk about a little bit about Ashley's sober journey. And, you know, she just hit five years this June. And yeah, I would just huge with everything that I know, she's gone through the past five years. I mean, that's a major accomplishment. So. But what, what I'd like to talk about is, yeah, especially that year that, you know, your dad passed away, you had to move Hayden to school? How, what got you through that?

Ashley DuLaney  22:45  
Um, I really think support from friends and, you know, y'all are one of them. You know, it's y'all are been through all of it with me. And I very close friends that have helped me through it. But it was I won't lie, it was hard. It was really hard. Because drinking was that thing that would, you know, kind of black my mind out a little bit and not having that as hard. And so I did have to be open with people about what was going on with everyone and everything. But, ya know, I just gotten word so supports me with it. That's another thing a lot of, you know, couples, it's easy to go and I missed the whole let's go have a drink somewhere. And it's kind of not very fun for me to go sit at a bar. And it's kind of you know, I just would rather not, but I know that's something that a lot of couples do. And I'm I'm jealous of it sometimes. But um, you know, more comfortable

Ward DuLaney  23:48  
with groups. I mean, I think her sick, her circle got a lot tighter at first. Like, you know, she had you work and she had me at home. And I was never, I mean, I'm having a beer right now. But I'm not. I was never a big drinker. I can. It's what I didn't understand, I couldn't understand why she couldn't turn it on and off. And that's me the longest to just kind of understand because I mean, I can go weeks without and then I can go a weekend with and turn it off. But it's something that runs in her family, it was taking control of her and she had to pull away and honestly, it was a she was a huge example to Hayden, because he was, you know, he was a late teenager at CNS. And just to see that example of strength and endurance and was huge. So it's, it's, it's something that he's gonna carry with him.

Ashley DuLaney  24:41  
Yeah, we're real honest with him. So he was like, What 15 And that was the time you know, that people, you know, kids were starting to probably play with alcohol or whatever. And he just kind of really stayed away from it, I think and sometimes he does tell us that, you know, he watched me go through a lot with it and I And my father too. So I think a lot of a lot of the time in the past five years and even just with Hayden leaving, I think about what I be drinking right now. Yeah. Would I be drinking or not? Yeah, like, I mean, I, there were a lot of reasons to pick up the glass again. And I just, again, it's support, it's keeping busy. But it's very, it's still hard every day. It's stress is crazy.

Ward DuLaney  25:28  
We were with a group. And I mean, you know that. It's just a piece of the party, right? People are drinking and having a good time. And she's been able to get so much better that I'm still enjoying our friends enjoying the time and not feeling that pressure. But it's still

Clancy Denton  25:45  
well, yeah, and I know whenever people come back into, like, someone from the gym that we haven't seen for a couple of years comes in, and the first thing are you still not drinking? I mean, and I like, yeah, she's still sober. She's sober. She's not, you know? Yeah, it's just, yeah, it's it's people just don't people who haven't been close to someone who's gone through it. They don't get it. It's just Yeah. And, you know, we've had to have that talk with our kids, too, because there was some genetic stuff. Yeah, there's our family, you know. And the kids, you know, we we have also told them, you know, you have to watch out because it just affects everyone differently. And you don't know how it's going to until you start messing with it.

Rick Denton  26:32  
You mentioned actually, you mentioned that you during the emptiness phase that you would probably Yeah, I'd probably be lifting a glass or whatever. Have you found yourself consciously replacing that desire for a drink or that past desire for drinking the empty nest? Is there something that you're finding that is the replacement for that?

Ashley DuLaney  26:51  
I mean, a lot I, you know,

Clancy Denton  26:54  
reading we yeah, we started book club.

Ward DuLaney  26:57  
Yeah. You guys move through an unbelievable pace.

Ashley DuLaney  27:02  
And I really, you know, well, I mean, you and I exercise all the time, and I enjoy it. It's not, I don't dread it, I love to exercise. I like to go on a walk, I don't have to run, you know, 10 miles, I like to go on a walk and just have my headphones on. And that's actually helped me a lot. I mean, especially when I first was sober. It was just getting even author 2020. It was just getting out and walking and listening to whether it was podcast, music, something that can that's something that is every day, it's that's kind of, like, you know, like reading, even if I have time to read a couple chapters, just to make my mind a little more clear for a little bit.

Rick Denton  27:47  
I could see that. It's certainly as I see it through Clancy, when I hear about okay, so Ashley's finished these three books, and go Ashley's finished these TV series that we're just barely getting started on. So yes, I can see that feeling. Very.

Ashley DuLaney  28:03  
I'm almost a professional television watcher, I will say that. I have been since I was, since I was born. I've been a TV addict, that I'm an addict. And I'm never given.

Clancy Denton  28:15  
I mean, here we went when I'm teaching in class, and we start talking about a show and one of the guys that was in our class one day, he was like, are those your friends you're talking about? And no, we're talking about one of the housewives show. We're like, we wish. Rex?

Rick Denton  28:37  
Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sitting down with the cats in here now. And you're talking about TV? What? Cats cats behind the camera right here? You can't see it. But he's wandering around to rabies and maybe should have a podcast on. Like that? Yes. Yeah. And there actually, we you could do an entire episode on your journey. Right? In fact, you have actually there's, there's a beautiful episode out there, that maybe in the show notes, we might link to that for those that might want to learn more about that, because it really is a phenomenal story that we heard. So we may link to that. I'm going to shift on this though. And this one's for you ward. And I felt it more acutely this weekend than I had in a while. But what about losing your sports buddy? i It's the emptiness now. And I sat there and Clancy was tolerant of football to some degree, but it wasn't the same as having my sports buddy there. What's it been like without having your sports buddy there?

Ward DuLaney  29:33  
You know, I don't mean to go backwards. But do you ever remember your parents having such a hard time when they dropped us off at school? And I just I asked Ashley the same thing. I said did did they miss us? Did they care that we were going to I just felt they were dropping us off and that was it. Now I hit three

Clancy Denton  29:52  
on my dad. But I think the difference was is that we can't be in daily contact. You didn't know There we go. Right one. Yeah.

Ward DuLaney  30:03  
That's that's such a it's a beautiful thing. Hey, love eight loves talking to me. I'm not bothering him when I pick up the phone and talk. And I literally, I think his friends make fun of them or ask him he answers when we call. I mean, I probably talked to him. It's not every day pretty much every day. And it's just I'm in traffic, I call him he answers. Now, I still haven't been able to figure out his school schedule. So I don't pay attention to it.

Rick Denton  30:29  
I don't either. And he plans he knows I have no clue.

Ward DuLaney  30:32  
His grades are awesome. I don't even know what he's taking. But he's doing wonderful. I'm losing my this is the first year that Hanes doing fantasy football, which is really neat, because he's able were able to push and pull ideas of his draft. And so we've got sports still going in different ways. But I mean, it's it's constant, the technology. Now, you're just always in touch. I can't touch your one. But you know, we talk often. We have an awesome relationship.

Ashley DuLaney  31:03  
I mean, I remember coming home from college and telling my mom all about school. I mean, it was the whole weekend, we talked about what I was doing the past, you know, three months, where we know day to day, where are you? What are you doing? And we're not being nosy? No, it's just kind of how

Rick Denton  31:21  
they're sending us the messages. And the pictures last Yes. Last night when Tegan was at her first football game, she's sending us pictures and the videos of her pushing the flag up and then the crowd around. So you're right, it is that kind of activity. It's a

Ward DuLaney  31:34  
special relationship. And you know, you know, I'm in hospitality. I've always been in food and beverage. And I mean, a lot of the reasons why I chose the job I'm in is because in this business, you're usually working nights and weekends and holidays, and you're not around. And so one of the biggest choices I made was with this company, I'm able to, I'm able to spend nights and weekends with him. I didn't miss a thing. I went to every concert, every sports game, I didn't I can't say that I missed one event. And so the relationship that him and I had, I mean, you know, is awesome. And it's it's continued. I mean, now he's calling me and he's wanting advice, and I don't give him the advice. I just kind of draw the emotions out of him

Rick Denton  32:19  
to kind of figure out questions to answer his own question.

Ward DuLaney  32:23  
Right, right. Where you're giving? I don't know, it's kind of Choose Your Own Adventure book. Right? You're kind of Yeah, letting him choose it. But at least he's rolling through the you know, the the actions and the emotions with you. And that's it. I don't know, it's really cool. I'm enjoying the the mature relationship that we've got. It's just, and I love it, and that

Rick Denton  32:44  
the changing of the relationship. I do think that could be a deeper conversation because it is it's something that we're getting to experience almost it to different levels. So with Tanner, he's already kind of made that evolution, most of that there. We're seeing how Tegan is starting to make that evolution like she'll ask is very point blank things and we'll do like you said their word where it's Well, have you looked into this? Have you thought well, I don't know. I live in Frisco, Texas. You live in Tucson, you tell me what the answer is those sorts of things. I do miss though. I miss having my in person sports. But there's a little something about having him in the room together and have that reaction moment at the same time. But yeah, you're right about when something good happens, the tech start flying and suddenly the phone starts buzzing. And that's a lot of fun. And I

Ward DuLaney  33:29  
was I was so giddy this summer because he was not going to come home this summer. He was gonna stay in school and take summer school in Lubbock. And he was able to score a nice internship. And the internship was local. And that meant I hadn't my buddy here all summer long. And oh, God is

Clancy Denton  33:43  
because we're counting down the summers to where yeah, not you know, it's all now it's just if you're gonna see him this innocent.

Ward DuLaney  33:52  
And it's such a long, I mean, you've got to get on a flight to go see me. No, we can't flight

Rick Denton  33:58  
shorter than your drive. Sure. That is true. Our flight shorter than your drive. So Now granted, we got to go to the airport and all that stuff, but it is a shorter flight and a drive and I would much rather fly to Arizona than drive. Right.

Ward DuLaney  34:12  
Oh, you can get a burrito? Yeah.

Rick Denton  34:17  
It's not like we're getting sick. Well, sometimes you get served in the air, but even still, I'm sitting and not driving.

Clancy Denton  34:23  
So this week, text of the week from the kids hat, whatever we are, baby. So this is from Ashley and Ward son Hayden. So he's a junior at Texas Tech. But he texted and he says, I have a seven year old in my public speaking class. He's a freshman. All right, so explain a little bit. Well, that

Ward DuLaney  34:48  
was your response to them. Because then I'll talk I'll say my response. I'm just wondering what you responded to him when he found that

Ashley DuLaney  34:54  
oh, oh, I'm like that's well, no, I did. So that's it. That's awesome. But

Ward DuLaney  35:00  
I would have, I would have eventually saying, Do what that's

Ashley DuLaney  35:03  
why, but it is. It is very odd. Where I was like, tell me

Clancy Denton  35:09  
what you said that Hayden said, no one else would talk to him. So Hayden went over and

Ashley DuLaney  35:15  
he was talking to the old guy, and he's just yeah, he's used. He's used to talk into adults. And I think the freshmen are scared of the profession. And I thought it was the professor. Yeah.

Ward DuLaney  35:28  
I said, I said, Is there a seat next to him? You need to go sit next to him. Imagine the wealth of knowledge this guy

Rick Denton  35:34  
worries. Absolutely. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, that's cool. That's fun. Yeah.

Clancy Denton  35:41  
Well, you guys thank you so much. This was a great first episode with guests we're very we'll see.

Remember, we're not professional. I appreciate you guys so much

Rick Denton  36:03  
for being honest. Tales, stories being real with us and and helping us learn and just kind of enjoying and laughing as well.

Clancy Denton  36:11  
There was a lot of fun there episode of the loud quiet, living in the empty nest. File, Buck you

Transcribed by https://otter.ai