How Do We Reinvent Ourselves? - E106

Rick Denton (00:00)
This week on The Loud Quiet, how do we reinvent ourselves?

Clancy Denton (00:04)
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of The Loud Quiet. Just a reminder, all of our episodes, links to our community group, the newsletter, you can find everything at theloudquiet.com. So head on over there and just check out all the things that are available on our webpage.

Rick Denton (00:25)
You mentioned community and one of the things that comes up is this idea of, what do I do with myself in the empty nest? And that's what we want to talk about in today's episode is this idea of reinventing yourself in the empty nest. There's the opportunity to do it. There's the new paths that one can take. There's the freedom of time to do it.

Clancy Denton (00:48)
Yes. And for our long time listeners, y'all know our story that we did pretty much both leave the careers that we had prior to jumping all in on this podcasting and trying to make it into a business. And with that comes conferences. Yes, which we were very lucky to attend. This was our second.

Rick Denton (01:10)
right

Clancy Denton (01:15)
podcasting conference. you go back, have an episode that recapped the first one that we went to last year, which would have been in the January timeframe. So you can go back and listen to that one and see how it compares to what we talk about today. This one was, it was a lot of fun. It was a very good weekend of recharging the ideas and just getting that brain stimulated again around what

we are doing now as in the creator space.

Rick Denton (01:46)
Yeah, I like that you said that recharging aspect of it because you did allude to the fact that this is an ongoing reinvention for us and it's the fact that, well, you don't have kids, you don't have those responsibilities, we can actually do something like this. And I feel like there's never a reinvented past tense in what we're doing. I feel like here in The Emptiness, it's going to always be reinventing.

And going to a conference like the Empowered Podcaster Conference 2, it was the second, helped us in that ing part of it is continuing that because without that little, well, kind of the refueling, the pouring back into that we received, things start to get a little dry. They get a little tired. They get a little rote. And it was nice to be a part of that.

Clancy Denton (02:37)
exactly how I was feeling. felt like we were, you know, very much in a routine of get episode done, get things that go with the episode done, check, move on next while we're also working on some other things behind the scenes. But this was put on by our podcaster coach, Mark Ronek of Ironic Media and

Rick Denton (03:03)
of ironic

Clancy Denton (03:06)
He put this is the second year that he has held this conference. One thing I love about this conference is that it is on the smaller scale. Now I know it probably won't stay there, but it still is.

Rick Denton (03:21)
Well, because people like us keep talking about it.

Clancy Denton (03:23)
I

know, yes. But I just love, I love that intimate setting. You really get to know each other. You recognize everyone who is there. After the first day, you recognize, okay, wait, you weren't here yesterday, but you're here today. I mean, at the one we went into January, I wouldn't have known if someone showed up, which that one was great too. But I liked the intimate setting of this one.

Rick Denton (03:51)
And it was, really was that a place that you could easily stick a hand out. didn't matter whether you knew him or not. didn't matter. Stick a hand out, say hi, meet somebody. You got to the point that you're like, okay, I'm scanning the room. I met. And how rare is that at a conference to be able. And once you get to that point that you've actually met everybody, what's great is when you have that second conversation and that third conversation that it gets deeper and deeper and deeper each time.

Clancy Denton (04:02)
If I not.

I I lied in Mark's opening keynote. He said, I want this to feel like camp. for those of us who grew up going to camp, you come off a camp with that high, you're exhausted, but you've got that high and all these ideas and I'm gonna start doing this. And so yes, that is what it felt like.

Rick Denton (04:40)
I recognize that I am a social introvert. have no problem talking to anybody anywhere. I'm usually not shy. There's some situations we've even talked about on this episode where I can find myself in a shy situation. Usually though, I'll say hi to anybody, but that battery is ticking down the entire way. I am not recharged with conversations I'm enjoying, but not necessarily recharged. And my gosh, by the end of the conference.

Clancy Denton (05:08)
I think I put it in a text that I got so much energy from this conference, but it also drains so much energy. And I get recharged by the social aspect, but I could even feel myself. There were times that I was just standing there and I wasn't talking to anyone and I felt okay about that. didn't feel the need that I'm standing here going, no one's talking to me. No, I was okay with that.

I am, so...

Rick Denton (05:39)
So we were sitting at the lounge waiting for our flight to go home. ⁓

Clancy Denton (05:44)
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Clancy Denton (06:46)
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Rick Denton (06:53)
and the lounge was crowded and so we weren't sitting next to each other, we were sitting across from each other and there was a young woman that was sitting next to Clancy and she looks across at me and says, ⁓ do you want to switch seats so y'all can sit together? go, we've been married for 25 years and just got done with the conference. We don't need to talk anymore.

Clancy Denton (07:15)
And

that's also another interesting aspect of this. And for those of you again, who know our story that, know, yes, we decided to go into business together after becoming empty nesters. So now we are at these conferences together. Whereas for some people, they're like, all right, get away, get away for a few nights. I can go, you know, hang with other people. Now we're doing this together. think there was, I think there was only one other couple.

that was there, that were true podcasters together as a couple. We are now doing this aspect together as well.

Rick Denton (07:56)
Tell me that when you heard that you were going to go work out at the gym and I was going to go for a run that there wasn't a little part that's like, okay, good. We have a little bit of time away from each other. So even there you find your ways to carve out moments.

Clancy Denton (08:09)
And it is nice to have a partner at these things because when the tracks split, okay, we want to hear both of them, but we can't. So you go to this one, you go to this one and see what you heard.

Rick Denton (08:26)
You mentioned talking about meeting people and that was that certainly was one of the best parts of it. I was thinking about someone that we met. This is someone who's in our area. so shout out, Sid, finally getting to meet Sid in person. I've heard him over and over on Mark's daily podcast. And so had almost this parasocial where I felt like I knew this guy said, but then getting the chance to actually meet him in person, build a rapport with him, understand, look, he

He's a new empty nester moved out to Eagle Lake and they're living that life out there. And we need to collaborate together to set up some Dallas DFW area, podcasts or meetups and all that. None of that happens if people don't go to these places. If we don't choose to reinvent ourselves, if we don't choose to say we are going to head out and do something unique and different and go to a conference.

Clancy Denton (09:19)
The venue was excellent. Mark chose a great place in Charlotte, North Carolina. So many places to walk if you needed to get something to eat. I appreciated so much that he had coffee and hot tea available all day long because

If you've ever been to conferences, they keep those rooms so cold. I was freezing. So I was drinking so much hot tea and just hot water so I could just hold the cup. But I appreciated just the little things that he did that made it more comfortable for everyone involved. His team, you know, really, they did an excellent job.

Rick Denton (10:08)
I even saw Mark, he's running a conference. There's a lot that goes into that. And there's an example that I saw where even though he has all of these details that he's responsible for, he saw that he could improve the experience for one person that was there.

And so he went out of his way to dive down and improve the experience for this one person who later was able to say, yes, that changed everything for me at this conference. And watching that, it just shows you when you're a part of something that someone's got a sincere heart, you see it.

Clancy Denton (10:53)
especially when you're an independent podcaster.

You just seem to have this innate.

sense of kindness. I don't know what it is, but everyone's just, there's no judgment. There's all kinds of different people at these things, all shapes, sizes, from all different places. I never felt fearful walking across the room to strike up a conversation with someone.

Rick Denton (11:29)
And a lot of times when people hear, there's no judgment there, that they assume a certain kind of category or that sort of stuff. No, you mean this. This range, political spectrum. ranged. And you want to talk about a space that there can be conflict. It ranged the faith spectrum as well. It ranged the orientation spectrum. It ranged the spectrum. And I would submit that everyone felt great to be there.

Clancy Denton (11:56)
I'll just say everyone just always had a smile on their face, seemed to be laughing, seemed to be enjoying what was going on. There were some very heart centered talks that you just don't probably get at your typical business conference or even at some of the other podcast conferences that are more focused on the business side of things. I felt like this one was.

the people's podcast conference.

Rick Denton (12:28)
If sticking with that idea of reinvention in the emptiness and we've talked about it, we've talked about how you do it, how you can be able to do it. I still remember. Mike Reiner of the ticket for those that are in the DFW area know who the ticket is or what the station is. He didn't start that until he was much later in life. So the ability to reinvent is off the charts. There's some other benefits that we're seeing out of this reinvention that got highlighted at this conference. It was announced.

that there is a particular online creator that focuses on Pokemon and it's all about should I open or should I keep sealed? And it's the idea of he buys a pack of Pokemon cards and you see his thumbs in the camera, but that's just about all you see and the package of cards. And you and I know nothing about that. We kind of came on the scene after, before-

Clancy Denton (13:23)
We know about the Pokemon card packs because our children are both still into them.

Rick Denton (13:29)
Well, that's what I was going to say is it wasn't a part of our world, but we know it was a part of our kids world. Well, you send them a message and go, Hey, do you know this person? As we sent some screenshots of the short and both of our kids like, my gosh, I totally know that person. This is something I watch all the time. It's so cool. And it's opening our eyes to how choosing this reinvention is building more and more connections to our kids in this empty nest phase.

than we ever could have anticipated if we just stuck with the normal track we were on.

Clancy Denton (14:02)
And I would have never, like you said, I would have never have known about this person, but he is going to be the keynote speaker at the conference that we're going into in January. And that was announced at this conference. Again, I wouldn't have even known this guy's name or had a reason to text the kids about it, except, you know, what happened at this conference.

Rick Denton (14:28)
That's what's hitting me kind of in this time, perhaps even more so than before, that this really is an era that it was a choice. And that's almost like the unsolicited encouragement I'd offer to anybody that's listening or watching is, this is that chance for space for reinvention. And not that everyone needs to reinvent, because change for change's sake is not a good idea.

But if the opportunity to pursue something that really stirs you and the opportunity to, to change in a way that might be kind of scary or something that, well, I don't know how to do this, but you're willing to take those steps and you've actually got that space to do that in the emptiness.

Clancy Denton (15:15)
And that's how I felt different at this conference than I did last year's. You know, last year we had just started our podcast in late August. went to this conference in January and we went on, I went on the coattails of your podcast that you had had. Yeah. And you you got a free pass and so you're like, well, maybe we should go to this.

Rick Denton (15:36)
for a more years before that.

Clancy Denton (15:45)
Well, I still felt very, and this came up some this week, very imposter syndrome because I was still at my other job and we had just really sat down and like we said, just had a weekly therapy session that we hit record on.

Rick Denton (16:05)
Which thanks y'all for listening so that we could keep that therapy going

Clancy Denton (16:09)
So I really did feel at that last conference, ⁓ yeah, you know, we do have a podcast and you know, but we were so much more focused on your business podcast. But then when we would tell people what our podcast was as a couple, it was like, ⁓ that's the one that got people excited. And so,

going into this one, I had so much more confidence just because I've seen where our podcast started and with the help of Mark and Tyler and the rest of Mark's team, where it has grown to and like I said, the other things that are going alongside of it, I'm getting emotional, it just makes me.

proud of what we have accomplished in this last, you know, it will just be a year in January since we went to that last conference.

Rick Denton (17:14)
there was a guy that you were talking to at Mark's party and I was talking to y'all, but then, you know, how conversations split off and y'all continue to talk and you continue to talk for a while. And when I asked you later, which I were talking about, you're like, well, I was helping him explore his new podcast. I was helping him explore how he could do what he wanted to do in that world. And so when you talk about that imposter syndrome that you felt in January,

to what you are now that no, not only are you walking into a room without feeling like an imposter, you're walking into the room with the confidence to know I've got wisdom that I can share with someone else to help them along. Heck yeah. You should feel proud. I was proud of you when you were telling me that statement. I was really impressed when I thought of who you've become as this podcaster and business partner.

Clancy Denton (18:09)
And I loved the fact of this conference, know, we were, ⁓ it's the empty nesters. It's the, you know, cause we were sitting in one session and someone came out and said, my gosh, they were talking about y'all in the other session. And I'm like, okay, I think we have hit a nerve that like we've shared with y'all. There's just, and you guys know, there's not a lot about this phase of life out there. There just isn't.

And so we are really trying to honor all of us and all of y'all that are in this phase and really bring attention to it.

Rick Denton (18:48)
bring attention to it and bring attention to it because we even corrected someone that was talking about it and they said you know y'all are you've got this podcast where you're trying to help people survive the and i interrupted her i said no we're not we're trying to help people thrive in the empty nest yes and and that's the thing is empty nest is the phrase because your kids have left but it does not mean empty life and

We have figured out and we are figuring out. feel like it's something that's an ongoing, you have your highs, your lows, that aspect. And that's what we're thankful for. A community of the listeners, the viewers, and those of you that are part of the Facebook community and all of that. We're all helping each other not survive this, thrive this.

Clancy Denton (19:34)
And yes, we all know it's still life. There's ups and downs, but the more positive outlook that you can have on this phase, and if you're about to enter this phase, it is a beautiful time that

We are just so enjoying and enjoying hearing the stories from you guys out there as well of how you are enjoying it and connecting with your adult children. Maybe you've decided to change careers. There's so many opportunities. You just have to.

Well, I'll take a phrase from a guest that will be on later this month. You have to give yourself grace to reach your goals. I loved that when that one comes out later this month, you guys will really enjoy this guest. You have to give yourself grace to meet your goals and they're, you know, resetting new goals is huge in this phase.

Rick Denton (20:48)
Yeah, I, I too like that grace and goals. I I'm excited for, ⁓ that episode to come out here in a few weeks. So let's talk about those goals. When you come, you mentioned this earlier in the show, you talked about, come out of this thing, you've got all of this, these great ideas and the difficulty is absorption and then action. What's something you're going to hear? We're going to put it on air. We're to put it out there and accountability. What's something you took away from this?

that you're going to act on.

Clancy Denton (21:20)
the young man that you were talking about that I talked to, I really am going to stay in touch with him and really try to keep encouraging him because I think his story is very good. And I think if he continues with what his idea is for his podcast, I think it will take off and be very well received. So I do want to try to really

stay true to my word and keep in touch with him. I think also, like we have talked about, we are still really trying to grow this community.

really try to be an encouragement to others and allow that support to happen, whether it's on social media, in real life. I think those are the things that we probably both have as something that we are going to try to focus on even more than we have been.

are yours or what is one that you...

Rick Denton (22:38)
There was a sentence that stuck with me and we've done this in our life, but it just was kind of in the whole reinvent. It's not reinvented. It's reinventing. If you don't see the community that you.

wish existed, go create the community that you want. And we have not seen, and maybe it's just our own access to it. We haven't found it yet, but at least so far we haven't found a podcaster community in the DFW area that's vibrant and active. And so in talking with Sid, there is this idea of, what can we start? What can we create together in that vein in our existing community?

The second thing that I'm taking away from that is I listened to a group of podcasting women who their focus is business and entrepreneurship. They moved into in-person events and I am eager to see the loud, quiet community, not Rick and Clancy, but the members of the loud, quiet community come together and build not just an online community, but an in-person.

moment, whatever that looks like. So working to figure out what's the heat map of where people are and then how can where people are get together so that we can get out of our isolation buckets and into our spaces of humanity and human connection that can exist.

Clancy Denton (24:10)
and you guys are all a part of that community. again, we so appreciate our Facebook community group, the interaction that's going on on there. Just keep it coming, guys. If you have a question that you wanna put out there, put it out there. Y'all can post on there as well. if you need help with a situation that you have going on, put it out there.

Rick Denton (24:39)
Yeah, we're not claiming to be the experts there. We are just the ones who happened to click. We're the ones that click the button to put a space in place, but the actual community is us. It's, it's, it's y'all. It's all of us woven together. I think that's the word. Maybe that's the word. The community is y'all. And so if you haven't already joined the community, you can head over to the loud quiet.com up at the top, you'll see the loud quiet community.

Clancy Denton (24:42)
or the facilitators.

Rick Denton (25:06)
that'll get you access into the group to where we're actually sharing ideas, sharing stories, and just sharing some fun together as well.

Clancy Denton (25:15)
So we hope you all enjoyed our recap of our conference. I'm sure some of you out there have upcoming conferences that you'll be headed to. I hope you enjoy them as much as we did, and we hope you enjoyed this episode of The Loud Quiet.