Friday I’m in Love - E19

Clancy Denton  0:00  
Welcome to the loud quiet. Ooh, empty nester. Okay. What does that mean?

Rick Denton  0:06  
I think that actually probably is the theme of the next. What are we doing? Let's do this. Let's do this thing. Is this Recording? Yeah Okay,

Clancy Denton  0:15  
great. Sans, children just us we need a tissue box up here. Follow along on our journey and maybe you know we can learn from others 

Rick Denton  0:23  
i don't have a clue how to be empty nester here.

Clancy Denton  0:25  
This is the loud, quiet, living the empty nest.

Hi, welcome back to another episode of the loud, quiet. We're on episode 19. I think this is Oh

Rick Denton  0:38  
my gosh, that's right. I guess we're surprised each time I say oh my gosh, that's right, because we thought we'd ended one or two.

Clancy Denton  0:43  
Yeah. And we're, you know, coming to the end of the year. And so we're still doing it. We're still here. We'll see where we go.

Rick Denton  0:53  
As long as y'all keep listening. And as long as we keep enjoying talking to each other. We'll keep doing it the

Clancy Denton  0:58  
holiday season now. So it's getting hard to find time to record. We don't have as much freedom with our schedule, as we did beforehand. So especially,

Rick Denton  1:10  
I mean, what are we doing here? We're trying to jam in a recording right before we head off to church, because we've got folks coming over this afternoon, which is fun. So again, it's all because of yeses, but it's still fun to to wedge it in even if it has been wedged. Yeah, so this time, it almost fits what you were talking about there wedging in a little bit, you know, because we have talked about the freedom that we've had. And it got me to thinking and it was on a particular Friday, I thought Friday is different now. And I was thinking about the different stages of Friday's. That's kind of strange. But as you think about what a weekend might be and how that is, is I was trying to think about what were Fridays. What did it mean to me when I was younger? And different stages of younger Of course. What did Friday's mean to us when we were dating? What does Friday did Fridays mean to us when we had kids? And then what a Fridays mean to us? Now it's been kind of a just start me. Got me thinking about that idea. Not real planned out. We're just going to see where this goes. So I'll start by saying, you know, think about Fridays when you were growing up. What did they mean to you? What were they like? Maybe not even mean? What are they like? What was a Friday?

Clancy Denton  2:24  
Yeah, so you know, as a school kid, you always look forward to Friday. And I know in my younger school days, it was always someone was spending the night at my house. I mean, every Friday, my friend that lived around the corner, she would come over. You know, we'd have slumber parties and other people's houses. You know, I don't know how much sleepovers go on anymore these days. I don't hear our kids did some. But Tina did Tanner Egan Tegan. Tegan just likes she likes to be in her own bed. Now she does still I mean, her, you know, that's for a no, he still comes over and spends the night because of where she her where she lives. It's not convenient to you know, take her all the way back home. But yeah, but that it was slumber parties. We I remember ordering the Little Caesars Pizza. That's when they came in the big paper thing, remember? And you got to the paper bag? Yeah, like that. Yeah, it was covered in paper and you'd rip it open? Yes. And yeah, we would, you know, oh, Blockbuster. And we go to Blockbuster on Friday night. And you'd sit there and wait, because to save someone would return the movie that you wanted to watch that night? So yeah, I think that's what you know, in elementary school. That's what I was, as I got older and got involved in activities than it was, you know, the football game or that kind of thing. But yes, it was always. And it wasn't a big plan thing. It was just or hanging out. Okay, do you want to sleep over? You know, it was just a very casual, whereas now I think things have to be scheduled more for these. Because of

Rick Denton  4:08  
a lot of the activities that I think we'll talk about, when we think about that second category, your Friday's match, certainly my Fridays. And I kind of think of my Fridays growing up, at least in my memory divided into two halves. And you did kind of those same two halves of what was it like in sort of that elementary school, middle school timeframe. And I also made a transition from one school. I guess I'd call it district or approach to another I made that transition right in seventh to eighth grade and so that that almost was a break there as well. You know, growing up I was in Cub Scouts and then the younger, teenage years, Boy Scouts and Fridays even had camping involvement, but there was always something. There was always something you were either spending the night I still remember going over and spending the night Greg veers house because he had the Atari 5200 And it was amazing to play the 5200 as we wave to our son over here hello, goodbye. Yeah, well, there you go. And the kids are home. So that'll change how the episode is. It was summer parties, it was it was always sort of this activity, there was always something. Then when we moved into high school, what I remember a lot of is it was just independence. This is the memory that I have that is different than I think about our kids now or our kids when they were in our house. It was you just, you'd left high school. And then you we all had driver's license, we all had cars. And you just went and did frequently. For me. It was with the youth group, friends of mine from the youth group at church, we would end up at somebody's house, it'd be a gathering, it'd be games, you'd be now okay, there was also some some times and maybe my freshman year senior year that you're also heading out to a field somewhere. Cove and the keg party

Clancy Denton  5:50  
sailed parties, I don't think because those will get busted now so easily with all the Facebook page. I

Rick Denton  5:56  
do have a very specific memory of a keg party at it was the old not Saltgrass. But those that grew up in Austin know the the big hill on 2222. There used to be a restaurant that overlooks that area. It was an empty space. And the police were there to greet us as we arrived at the scheduled cake party because you passed around flyers and school and all that, but it was always something. Yeah, it was it was it was fun. It was exactly the I don't I don't know how involved especially in the high school. Our parents were at all in this it was just an okay see a be back curfew, whatever

Clancy Denton  6:32  
I was I Yeah. And the same like my, my house was usually the one that people ended up that and I didn't start any of my shenanigans until I got a little older. But yes, but we oh, we would toilet paper people's house. Yeah, we did that a ton. And there's a there's a tape recorded. out there somewhere. Someone has it of one night when we were doing it. And it was we tape recorded. Like

Rick Denton  7:03  
the audio. Yeah.

Clancy Denton  7:06  
You know, so yeah, we TPWD. But as I you know, like we're having with our kids being home now from college, I remember Yes, it was okay by, but my dad would leave a light on over the kitchen sink. And if that was not turned off, when he woke up in the morning, I could hear him flying up the stairs to see if I was home or not. Whereas now I'm checking the ring camera. What time did they get home?

Rick Denton  7:36  
Yeah, that was I'd forgotten about that. My parents attempted something like that with Oh, yeah. That was actually about the house because I viewed it as a, a declaration that they didn't trust me. Now, obviously, as a parent, I understand it's just a safety thing. If something happened, I'd want to know as a parent, and that's

Clancy Denton  7:55  
we, you know, I never really had a curfew. I didn't have a curfew put on me. I don't think we really put a curfew on our kids. I mean, the city has a curfew. But we

Rick Denton  8:07  
use that we also would say be backed by x like we did. It was not open ended certainly in high school. Hey, whatever. Well, yeah,

Clancy Denton  8:13  
cuz there's not really too much as a high school. I mean, again, things have changed. We could be out. I mean, I remember walking to the quarry in the middle of the night. Like, there's just no place that our kids can go these days that someone is not on their phone. I see two teenagers walking around, blah, blah, blah, on blogs, you know, I mean, so I just, I don't know, I just think it's, it's different for them, obviously, than it was for us. Yeah.

Rick Denton  8:41  
So growing up Fridays certainly had their own feel their own vibe. I mean, it's the drinking out of the hose kind of vibe. We talked about our 70s 80s Growing up days. Then we get the opportunity after we've met we pivoted and what did Friday's mean, when we were dating, I have a very particular visual in my mind, but I'm curious what were Fridays to you when we were dating?

Clancy Denton  9:03  
Well, I was still at school when we were dating in college. But yes, I remember. I mean, you were working in Austin, and you would fly back and forth. And I was a consultant. We travel. And so I would either be at your apartment already before you got back or we would you know meet out we we did a lot we we did a lot of fun things when we were you know, dating and things that are still like we loved live music. I mean, we were in Deep Ellum all the time, all the time. And, you know, sometimes I would get off my shift and we would you know, because my hospital was right there. And we I would meet you wherever everyone was at right that you know,

Rick Denton  9:50  
because that was to an era that we would do. Henry and others lived. Some folks that were friends of mine from Duke lived in that Deep Ellum area so sometimes we can meet up then that whole life, your

Clancy Denton  10:02  
consulting people, we'd meet up with me. Yeah.

Rick Denton  10:05  
And that was the reason we bring the consulting part into the stories. I remember you talked about that we went to some of the best restaurants because we were still nursing. We'd sort of hoard our per diem during the week, because you were busy, you weren't doing a whole lot you might cook at the apartment that you had. And then you come back on the weekend and get to blue all that premium on having fun going out to some really great restaurants that young 20s shouldn't be able to be going to, but it was kind of nice to be able to do

Clancy Denton  10:29  
that. Yeah, we spent a lot of time on the couch listening to music, you know, yeah. Back then TV was not a big part of our lives. We, you know, certainly

Rick Denton  10:39  
I was kind of anti Yeah, we saw of it as sort of a cop out. Unless it was sports that was always on Well, that's not TV.

Clancy Denton  10:48  
But, but yeah, that was, you know, Friday nights, and

Rick Denton  10:54  
it was it was always about it was going out. Now, I know you're saying that sitting on the couch and that sort of stuff. But I guess a weekend has many days in it. Yeah. I do know that when I was starting to travel. Now. This is Friday that we're talking about the weekend in general. And when I was going up to Boston on the trip, sometimes I'd have to leave night so you really not you we would be really trying to jam as much fun and entertainment into our lives. It really was it was about how much fun and entertainment can we jam into our lives. On this brief. Yeah, relative and we,

Clancy Denton  11:26  
you know, we did, we did weekend trips to like we, you know, did a few things. But yeah, it really was. I mean, yeah, going to the restaurants going to, you know, the club and then you know, then back then we could do both. Now if we do we have

Rick Denton  11:45  
I can't wait. We don't have to go to the club. Because I started that's, well,

Clancy Denton  11:48  
not the clubs, but I guess I did. But I can't go to anything that starts at 10 o'clock.

Rick Denton  11:58  
So what did what did Friday's mean when we were dating, they didn't start until 789 o'clock. Let's well. Let's save that for when we're talking about Fridays now. When when this Friday started. Started seven, eight.

Clancy Denton  12:15  
And you didn't get home till midnight? One o'clock two. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was. Yeah, the dating years. And then I mean, of course, I guess I started I kind of messed up some of that when I started being a flight attendant, because then I was low on the totem. And so I would fly Friday, Saturday, Sunday a lot. But

Rick Denton  12:37  
that was, you know, that carried over into not just the dating but the engaged in the married period of time. Now the flip side of that, though, is that we had some dates that weren't in Dallas. Yeah, I can go into meat. You know, I don't know that. McAllen is going to be high in McAllen, Texas is going to be high on anybody's dating list.

Clancy Denton  12:55  
I think it was. Was it heartland? Oh, it was. We didn't fly there. It was. When you came with me, when I got called out of Christmas Eve service. And you came and flew down to it

Rick Denton  13:08  
was one of the boys. Yeah, yeah. One of those that Southwest flew to them. So we did. We did. Well, there was one time Kansas City was one where we had a Yeah, we had fun. So there were some of our dating was done by being out of town, which who knows? You and I have a love for travel. I think there's just a part of us, but that helped establish, and traveling style. Some of that. Hey, let's just go to Kansas City on a Friday changed once we had kids. So what were Fridays when we had kids,

Clancy Denton  13:39  
when they were little, I couldn't even tell you. I mean, I have no record now. We did still we took we took Tanner to restaurants like in his carrier. And I'm sure we did the same with Tegan. I you know, but I because

Rick Denton  13:55  
there's how many what's happened to you at every Chili's that we've been to and the kids

Clancy Denton  14:01  
embarked on at by and our kids were not big barbers. But for some reason? I don't know. Yeah. It was the Chili's and Flower Mound every time.

Rick Denton  14:11  
So you're right, we take them to dinner. But what did I do

Clancy Denton  14:14  
remember, like when we lived in Houston, we had a very tight knit group and we all had kids that were new. And so we would all collectively get babysitters and leave them all at one house and we would go so we still did. And you and I were still very good about trying to have date nights and those probably fell on Friday or Saturdays. And so, you know, we did because we had we had babysitters or sometimes we'd swap and you know we had a good friend that lived in our neighborhood we'd keep her daughter and then sometimes she'd Tanner, you know so we didn't we I feel like we still did I feel like a lot of it morphed into families getting together at someone's house. We Oh They were in our separate club that started. And so yes,

Rick Denton  15:03  
all that Houston timeframe. The theme that as you're answering that question, and I'm reminded of those days is our kind of almost, you know, again, the freedom is restricting a bit, but it changed in that. It was, how can we do Fridays, either with the kids, like all of us kids are playing in one room, like you said, or families or another room? Or how do we make it work with the kids? It was, though working with other couples, right? It wasn't as much of obviously, you and I had our dates. A lot of our social and a lot of our Fridays, though, involve other young parents, because that's the way sort of your it takes a village to be able to manage the childcare that goes with trying to live life as an adult and as a couple and still maintain a relationship when you got these two young ones running around. And

Clancy Denton  15:52  
then when we moved back here and had Tegan, you know, it was so nice that my parents were here because they kept the kids a lot of fright, you know, so we could do, you know, special things and go out and,

Rick Denton  16:06  
and have a good day, it wasn't even just special. Like it was special and right. Anything that was a meaningful moment, we always had them supporting us as far as taking care of the kids. And we were able to, you know, we want to just go out on Friday night for dinner, they were available for that, right? They,

Clancy Denton  16:22  
I mean, they have a big social calendar, too. So we did we we were really good about finding babysitters in every, you know, city sorry, the cat is like if you're not watching the video. So, but then I will say things shifted once. Tanner started soccer, the moment activities, and it is phase two. And he was you know, our first one, so yeah, it, you know, and especially when they got into the more competitive side of soccer and cheer, there was no going out on Friday nights, because, you know, sometimes you had to be at the field at 7am. Or you had to be at a chair calm, or doing here at 7am. So I you know, we still carved out time for us and the kids. There were always kids over at our house. Now, both of them were involved in school activities, too. So Tegan never really had a Friday night, you know, when we were in high school, I remember because I was in an activity that performed on the field. But then we would still go out after these kids are so dead tired. They can't they're like, No, I mean, she wanted to come she was. Luckily, you know, her high school was five minutes away. I mean, I would hear her pull in and she was straight up to the shower, get the makeup off, get the hair down and then eat whatever we picked up for it. You know, so they do the Friday nights like we did after Yeah,

Rick Denton  18:03  
cuz a big part of that. What Friday meant when we talked about the keg party, but wasn't just that you met in the parking lot of the high school after the football game. And then that's where you missed out from from there. Yeah, it zap them and you're right. That was it took away. I don't want to use such a negative word. It was just a different thing. Right. So now our for our weekend entertainments are going to be sports related. Our weekend entertainment are going to be activity related. And it did change some of the time that we talked about, like if you're going out to dinner, let's say that. But I'm not talking about high school, but when it's still kind of a competitive cheer, soccer sort of thing. If you know you have to be an hour and a half away at a soccer field at 7am. i You know what, let's go ahead and have dinner at five o'clock and suddenly start to pivot and you see why families are the ones that are in salsa at 5:05pm. Yeah, I think we learned how to make cocktails at home a little better, too.

Clancy Denton  18:59  
Yeah, we did. I mean, we Yeah, I don't I don't, you know. Like I said, you know, we would go out but I don't remember the kids doing a lot with us. I mean, Tanner was usually out socially anyways, but just because their Friday nights were either absorbed and to something else, or they knew they had something the next morning that they needed to be well rested for so yeah. And and even the weekend itself would just get consumed. Some days you were at. We were at the soccer field from on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. If it was a tournament, you're there all weekend long and then your weekend is gone. And like I said, you know traveling for cheer comps and stuff like that. Yeah.

Rick Denton  19:48  
You know, this is what what did Friday's mean? I think when it comes to sort of you me and the things that we would do, it meant that if we were to go out it typically would Be around something special. And I don't mean, or maybe special or you'd look, you'd be a little more aware of the calendar and realize, okay, there isn't something that Saturday, he doesn't she doesn't. Therefore we can go do something. And so you'd use the kids empty spaces as ways for us to date as opposed to married. It's Friday, what do you want to go do?

Clancy Denton  20:24  
Yeah. And I think even, you know, I think one of her team she even had practice on Friday nights. And so it was just Well, I

Rick Denton  20:32  
blocked that out, I believe I just, apparently.

Clancy Denton  20:37  
So but yeah, it definitely, you know, it was definitely a different you had to be creative to find ways to still, you know, keep our connection going. And, you know, like I said, the kids, you know, with their social life and stuff like that. It was just it was a different. Friday nights were different. Yeah. Friday,

Rick Denton  20:58  
Friday nights, were not necessarily Oh, well, phase four. Phase four the kids have, excuse me, the kids have moved past. They're out of the house. Although ironically, as we record this, both cats are actually back both have stuck their head and while we've been recording, and while that's a delight that we'll talk about and another kind of thing in general. It is us and it is just our schedule. So what a Fridays mean to us as an empty nester. Yeah,

Clancy Denton  21:31  
Fridays have been I will say we've, we've been out more Fridays now than I, you know, there were so many weeks, that we were just so darn tired by Friday because of other activities. And every Friday night for the past four years has been concerned with football for her. And sometimes him but so yeah, now our Friday night at well, let's say Friday afternoons.

Rick Denton  22:00  
What? Friday start now. There have been times that we have sat down at the hour. Well, yeah,

Clancy Denton  22:07  
at 334. I love it. I'm like, it's awesome. It's you know, because then as you get older, you're home and you can digest before you even think about going to bed. So yes, it's very nice. I've very two Fridays ago when we were going out with the shippers. I was texting y'all going? Why are y'all still working? Everyone, you and Aaron, you and Aaron JP and I were done. But you and Aaron, were still working. I was like, I'm gonna need y'all to retire so that we can get back to our 330 going out Friday. So it

Rick Denton  22:46  
is nice to have that earlier as well. As our careers have gotten to the stage that they can typically be a little earlier. I have come to appreciate even if I don't always default to it. I've come to appreciate the earlier going out there's still something there's a part of me that loves the Italian culture, which is the yes start at four o'clock with the the appetit and enjoy that and then have your long dinner that goes out to the evening. I've come to appreciate though the Yeah, we're done with the the dinners by eight o'clock and we're just home and enjoying relaxing after

Clancy Denton  23:23  
we're done well before eight o'clock sometimes sometimes sometimes. Not that you know, but yes.

Rick Denton  23:29  
And that's what Friday has become now is it really is okay, what do you want to do? Now we've also found ourselves getting into rhythms, right. We do love this place called the owl. And it's a great place to start, have a drink and then head out for something else. But that's what Friday has become now it's whatever you want. It's it's almost back to well, I guess you could say it. It really is back to the first two phases where the it's Friday night. The world is completely open to you. What do you want to do?

Clancy Denton  23:58  
Yeah, yeah.

Rick Denton  24:00  
And I think we've done a good job in this now kind of going back to the reason for the podcasts living the emptiness I think we've done a good job that if we defaulted, if we didn't really choose, I could have seen as defaulting today. Yeah, let's just go home. We watch that sort of stuff. We've spent time really trying to do things on Friday. Now that we have that freedom now that we can do that. I'm sorry, I'm distracted over your shoulder because the cat is doing something weird, which is off camera.

Clancy Denton  24:30  
I'm sure Tegan just came in. But yes,

Rick Denton  24:33  
it is it could have gone the other direction. And as this is a podcast where we're trying to learn how to be empty nesters and hopefully sharing wisdom on how to do it. That being conscious about choosing to do something has been an important part of our connection.

Clancy Denton  24:48  
And I think we've also gotten into you know, we like to go out on Friday night because Saturday we tend to be doing stuff around the house or doing stuff out together and then you know we kind of like to be homes Saturday night, because church Sunday morning and just I, I enjoy, I'm social. I like going out. But I do like to be at home, too. I like, you know, I like a good mix of both. And so I think are the routine that we've gotten into going out Friday night? And we do. I mean, we have stuff on Saturdays do that we go out and do but

Rick Denton  25:27  
yeah, like, we went out but we were hanging out with family last night with your parents with Chad in town with Casey and Alison and all of us and the kids are back. So that was an art sitting Chilean home. So it's not that we're always doing that it just in our in our default. Yeah, man. It is. It is plus, what do I say? I like having my leftover pizza to eat on Sunday lunch after church. Yeah.

Clancy Denton  25:49  
Well, and that's why you know, this weekend, I mean, like I said, The holiday season is here. I mean, we are jam packed like it. You know, we went out Friday night with the kids Saturday night. We had that Sunday today are the neighbors and families are coming over to watch the football game.

Rick Denton  26:09  
Monday I'm going Yeah, yeah. I mean, we have you know, the stars taking Tanner to the stars. It's,

Clancy Denton  26:13  
you know, we don't we don't have a typical text of the week this week. But all the texts have been raw, revolving around. What do I have? Do we have anything on this day? Do we have I'm getting it from both kids, you know, and because they're trying to pack everything in and especially Tanner, because he goes back at the end of next week. There's only you're just a day over two weeks. Yeah. And so he's really trying to pack it in, you know, to the point that we got home Friday night from dinner, and then he went out, you know, to play poker with some of his friends, you know, so it's Antiguans. You know, got, okay, I have this on Monday. I have this on, you know, she was talking to my mom last night. When can we go to lunch? Like, well, let me check. You know, so

Rick Denton  27:09  
the kids kind of, well, kids and holidays combined to craft our calendar now. And then in mid January, you and I will be back. Yeah. But I'm loving it. I

Clancy Denton  27:19  
actually am No. And it's just it's so nice. Now that they're in college, and I know they feel it too, because Tegan both and Tanner have both said, it's so nice to not have to think about anything, like classes are done. Grades are in they, you know, they don't have to think about anything that are just free to just enjoy their time off and it makes it I like it because it I'm not having to think about okay, next week, she has to take a gift for the Rhett's Christmas party. You know, it's just it's nice to not have to think about their schedules with that aspect on top of everything else. Yeah,

Rick Denton  28:08  
totally, completely. And it makes me think about how much I'm ready for the days when we aren't just talking about emptiness. We're talking about retired emptiness. This whole was Friday's me at that point, that answer maybe it just as a day? Well, yeah.

Clancy Denton  28:21  
And I think the kids forget that, you know, because they were like, Oh, well, we can do that. Like your dad and I are still working this week. Yeah, we, you know, we didn't, especially with Christmas being on, you know, starting on a weekend this year. You know, yeah, I'm still teaching class this weekend. So.

Rick Denton  28:43  
But yeah, well, this has been a kind of this has been a fun trip, as my brain is thinking about the Fridays that I've experienced before you with you and dating the kid version of it. And now the Fridays that we get to experience as an empty nest. It's been a lot of fun.

Clancy Denton  29:00  
Yeah, I'll try out. I'll see if I have any photos of anything. I just I didn't have time to pull stuff together before but

Rick Denton  29:07  
that was an error. Well, what were Fridays back then. Yeah, thank God they weren't recorded topic for a different thing. The things that we've done and experienced if that was on social media. Oh,

Clancy Denton  29:18  
well, you know what, that's the text I should have put up this week when Tanner texted us. And he was like, Oh, look at our pictures from you know, our last time at Casa before we come home. And I was like, oh, did someone take or you said is that with the Polaroid? Yeah. Or the like, like our little you know, camera. He said No, it's a filter now that you can put on and it's got the old the date and the like used to have

Rick Denton  29:43  
you're just listening pop pop up video on this section. Do you see you'll see these filters and it totally looks like the cameras because we were so excited. Oh, now I can know what the date was of this photo. Oh my gosh. Fond memories. Yeah,

Clancy Denton  29:54  
that was that was fun. Well, it was good

Rick Denton  29:57  
doing this trip with you on another episode of the loud Quiet living the empty nest

Transcribed by https://otter.ai