Change of Address - E7

Clancy Denton  0:00  
Welcome to the loud quiet. Ooh, empty nester. Okay. What does that mean?

Rick Denton  0:06  
I think that actually probably is the theme of the empty nest. What are we doing? Let's do this. Let's do this thing.

is this Recording? Okay, 

Clancy Denton  0:15  
great. Sans, children just us. we need a tissue box up here to follow along on our journey and maybe you know we can learn from others.

Rick Denton  0:23  
I don't have a clue how to be empty nesters.

Clancy Denton  0:25  
This is the loud quiet, living the empty nest.

Rick Denton  0:31  
All right, well, welcome to another episode of the loud quiet episode seven. And for those of you that are listening, you will not know this yet, but those of you that are watching will see on the screen that we have guests. And we are excited to have another group of our friends join us for another episode. It's been a lot of fun having guests and will continue to be fun having guests but this time around, we get to hear from folks down the street, JP and Aeryn.

Clancy Denton  0:56  
Yes, welcome. So glad that they're on today. I'm going to give a little backstory on how we have lived life together for the past. We've been in and out of each other's lives for a long time. But for the past four and a half, five years, we have really lived life together. And

Rick Denton  1:15  
you know what, before you go there, we didn't get a chance to even just s ay hi to the guests. We just jumped right into it. So hi JP & Aeryn, so

Clancy Denton  1:22  
glad to have you all. Thanks for being our another round of guinea pigs for us.

Rick Denton  1:29  
How are things today, go down the road, there

Clancy Denton  1:34  
are literally no street.

Rick Denton  1:37  
We could have done this in person I dropped off their microphones in person. So

Clancy Denton  1:42  
getting back to getting back to how we have become so so close with each other. Our older ones, were the awesome class of COVID 2020. So we got to go through the second half of senior year not knowing if Avery and Tanner were going to get to do any of the things that everyone else got to do senior year. And then after that, our daughters they were freshmen those years and they became fast friends best buds reconnected from elementary school. And so yeah, we have been our girls, drill team for four years. We have been on vacations together. We have visited colleges together. We just got to have our first non football Friday Night Lights a couple of weeks ago. So this is a relationship that you know, we we all connected. We all have a good time together. The girls, you know, still talk, I think almost daily. Teagan just wrote an essay for her first college essay and mentioned her relationships with her best friend and how you know, she's not ever going to let that one go. Because, you know, they just have a line that's unbreakable. They've been through so many things. So, so yeah, so we're so excited to have you guys on. And

Rick Denton  3:09  
it has been as you were rattling through so many of those things. And I was just thinking like, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, all of the things that we have enjoyed with them. I mean, JPD remember just going out hiking, and getting out there and enjoying enjoying nature and, and the craziness that goes out there. Remember camping with the girls. I mean, we got this feeling that. Oh, yeah. 100 stars.

JP Shiffer  3:35  
And was it. One of the was it kind of? Was it called the black site or her blackout site?

Rick Denton  3:41  
I know that's out in New Mexico. That's area 54. I think you're just sort of there a dark sky is where we were we actually got to, you know, show the kids. Hey, when you look up in the sky, there's something other than just the black blanket of living inside an urban place with lights up there was absolutely amazing.

Clancy Denton  3:59  
Well, yeah. And Aeryn and I took our girls to New York this summer and had a blast. So yeah, I mean, this is just a relationship that, you know, is not ending just because our kids are now out of school. You know, their daughter, Avery is a senior at UT Tyler, and Kennedy is a freshman at University of Arkansas. And you know, we still just enjoy getting together without the kids. So

Rick Denton  4:24  
I think you know, kind of, I want to actually ask this question of, well, actually, I'm going to ask you, I'm going to ask JP, I'm gonna ask Aeryn, but why do you think that is? And I'm not looking for anything like, oh, you know the mysteries of the universe. But so much of how we found friends as young adults, as our kids got older was, it was through our kids, friends, parents. Well, now our kids while they maintain friendships, they aren't physically here, so there's no need to stick together. So Have y'all seen like, are y'all seeing that with other groups? Are you seeing that you're kids, parents that's it kids, friends, parents too many words. They're staying friends with them. What's that been like?

Aeryn Shiffer  5:07  
Somewhat? I mean, I think this was probably one of the stronger ones just because it's easy. I don't know. I don't know how to put that like it. Like we can never stop talking like we're always talking and but yeah, I mean, I think what's interesting is JP has his group of like his bike friends, right and Plan C and I tried to keep a relationship somewhat with our jewel team, some of the drill team moms and different people. But you know, this has been I think one of the stronger ones just because I don't know if it's because Kennedy in, in Teagan, we're so close that we, you know, at first it was like, Okay, well, we'll just we'll all hang out, because it's just, you know, it's good. And then yeah, it's just an easy friendship to me, which has been kind of nice. I

Clancy Denton  5:49  
never had any drama. They're both very laid back. You know, we have taken multiple vacations together now. And we haven't tried to kill each other. So that's

Rick Denton  6:00  
one time that we didn't tell them. We had the arsenic.

JP Shiffer  6:08  
That brings that brings up that was the was the St. John St. Thomas. St. John St. John. Yeah. Was it that we're not eaten like an

Rick Denton  6:18  
oak? That's right. It was Clancy's birthday. And she's like, that's it

Clancy Denton  6:22  
now. was the first night when he he was grumpy because he was hungry. I was like, I've never seen JP like does. JP is like the most happy go lucky guy. And I was going what is wrong? And Aeryn was like, get him some food, get him some food.

Aeryn Shiffer  6:41  
Tell us where all the bathrooms were.

JP Shiffer  6:45  
Two and a Half bath, have a five bedroom house. I was just like really? Like

Rick Denton  6:50  
that guy? Oh, my gosh, you're like, please do just give us the keys leave with us. Let us just enjoy. And now we know, let us please, for the love of God feed JP JP.

JP Shiffer  7:02  
So I think, you know, to kind of build on what Aaron said, I think there's a lot of parallels and our styles of parenting. And where we're, you know, maybe, you know, we don't see eye to eye maybe on everything. But as far as you know, raising the kids and everything and helping them grow into adults and everything they are, or I guess our styles are very similar. You know, we allow them to make their own mistakes, make their own decisions, but also, you know, we're guiding them kind of the same way. And we're also you know, because there's not a lot of drama between us. It's, it's allowing our kids not to have that level of drama, or they there on the outside looking in and seeing all the drama that other people are having. So

Clancy Denton  7:47  
I think that's true, and sometimes the parents great. So y'all haven't emailed any of Kennedy's professors or anything.

Aeryn Shiffer  7:56  
I have not posted on Facebook, asking for friends for my child.

Rick Denton  8:06  
As I think what why this is going to continue on it is I think it's some of that shared experiences because I think of some of the other relationships that I've had that are the parents of say, parents have friends or kids that were in shared activities with my kids. There's too many adjectives there, I'm having trouble keeping it straight. But it was only the activity where the conductivity was. So the relationship was there at the soccer field, the relationship was there at the activity court or whatever that looked like. This was an opportunity. I think a lot of it was Friday night light driven, where it's like, you know what, it'd be a lot more fun to go out to dinner and have some beverages before we go in and watch a high school football game and established a relationship that was independent of our daughters because our daughters were eating Jimmy John's waiting for their game while we're having a nice martini and a good meal before a football game. Yeah, I think so. Then having that opportunity. Now, you mentioned JP that there's a shared parenting style, but I think we're going into the approach to emptiness thing a little bit differently. Yes,

Clancy Denton  9:11  
y'all y'all are making some big changes. So and that's that's why we wanted to have y'all on so you can talk about you know, tell us what your what tell us what's your plan? Question I want to know you know, how y'all came to this decision and what the girls think so, so yeah, so y'all jump in and tell us what you what you have planned?

JP Shiffer  9:37  
I think what we're just saying is that we were already looking at making a change before the kids were coming out of the house. We knew that with with a Rena here for the past two years. I mean, it's been a little bit more you start looking at the house a little bit differently is alright, well, this is you know, she she comes home and laser head here but I mean, I've got how many rooms in the house and she still goes the meeting room and sleeps in the meeting room. Now, then that's when I decided, okay, I'm just going to turn her bedroom into an office because nobody's using it. But it wasn't so much that it was that we knew that, you know, with me traveling all the time, you know, we really needed a smaller place. So we had actually started the, I would say, the journey of looking for a smaller house or downsizing almost a year ago, but we weren't quite sure which direction we were gonna go, are we gonna stay in Dallas? We're, you know, or did we want this as a home base? And then have you know, one or two other places, as you know, where did we want to do our investments and, and we had a pretty good windfall with a property that we own down in College Station, once we sold that it kind of gave us a little bit of a minute to figure out what our next step was. So and I think, once we figured out what that next step was, that's when we started kind of making the plans of how are we going to transition and get there? I'm not

Rick Denton  10:59  
sure have you said what that step is yet? Oh, yeah.

Clancy Denton  11:02  
Well, yeah, let's talk about that. So yeah,

Aeryn Shiffer  11:04  
so we number one, he's right about the housing big and because I'm here a lot by myself. And so and our bedroom is upstairs. So the master is upstairs, and you know, passing by all these rooms, all these empty rooms to you know, the day is a fun experience. I work from home, you know, several days a week, so. But yeah, we've decided to sell this house. And we're getting ready for that. And then we bought property in little close to the lake. And our next step, there's building a house. That was interesting when she because we, we've looked at some houses around here, and that kind of thing. And it was just everything you go into. I mean, the the cost of living is the cost of houses is so high right now. But we'd have to redo bathrooms and all these other things. I'm like, Well, I've already done that, like, Why do I want to buy a house this costs and then have to go redo bathrooms and tobacco products? So do you have well, that's our plan is in the next several months here is to get this house ready to go on the market. And, and then from that be able to start building a house. So that'd be fun. That's,

Rick Denton  12:06  
I mean, that's a significant difference than what, like how we were doing it. Right. And I mean, even even what I personally grew up in my home that I grew up in is still the home that my family still has an Austin and so from a timing perspective, you are making this change, I guess, what are we in? We're in September of the month that your last went into college? What had to be a big mental shift to get there? How long have you been in that house? How old were the kids when you moved into that?

Aeryn Shiffer  12:40  
Kindergarten? So yeah, 13 years. And so it's been a while. And it's funny, because we started kind of trying to talk about it, I guess last spring before can be a good move, because we're trying to figure out how to take the timing and that kind of thing. And that was actually her request was don't don't move before I graduate. She wants to leave this way this house in this room, you know, when she went off to college. So that was something that kind of weighed in our decision. Okay, when do we you know, when do we start this, this journey and that kind of thing.

JP Shiffer  13:11  
And I think it's really hard when we tried looking at this why Kennedy, you know, was still in school was that, oh, we'd have to show the house while we're going through all this chaos, you know, before she's even out of the house. And yeah, I walked in a room one day, and I looked at her and she's like, Yeah, we're not selling this house. Why she's here.

Rick Denton  13:31  
Now, we'll tell you tell you the house and show you every room with Joe, look in this room over here.

JP Shiffer  13:38  
The greenery is fake, that the greenery is fake. That's all I'm gonna say.

Clancy Denton  13:42  
So Have y'all led Kennedy or Avery or both of them? Have they had any input? Like now that y'all are kind of getting to the plan stage and that kind of thing? Are y'all just looking, this is our house and y'all can come the vet,

Aeryn Shiffer  13:57  
they want a room to be able to come back to so that's

JP Shiffer  14:01  
Oh, and for Avery we'll have a media room.

Rick Denton  14:07  
What did so it sounds like this had been a gradual process of getting to this. You'd had some time to think about it to talk about it and that sort of thing. At some point, though, it became real. What was that? Like when you told the kids we're doing this as opposed to we're thinking about it. We're doing this what kind of reaction did you get from them?

JP Shiffer  14:28  
It wasn't really a shock to them. I think they they really they've gotten Avery's so involved with school right now. I don't think it bothers her at all. She's already looking at her next step in life, which is graduating and getting a job. For Kennedy. It was probably a little bit more of a well what's going to happen to my room, but then we're like, Well, you'll have a room it just you will. You'll get to stay there you don't get to bring your candles or anything else and claim it as your room. It's very specific about that

Clancy Denton  15:02  
are your rents trophies that you can't bring your clothes

Rick Denton  15:08  
should totally decorate that room in full Rhett's regalia just make it all red all the time?

Clancy Denton  15:16  
No, I think she got rid of

Aeryn Shiffer  15:19  
that was the funniest thing. You know, we talked about the difference in the kids too. Because like Avery, she took all her the stuff she wanted, right? And then I was able to just come in and kind of pretty much clean out her room. Right? Take all the junk and all the whatever Kennedy is like, she saved a pair of jazz shoes. Why? Why appear chaps using your save file? So it's yeah, they're they're definitely very different.

Rick Denton  15:47  
I'm sorry, my brain went to other areas of my life that are going about to go through some clean out. And so thinking about saving jazz shoes. So yes, each of these transitions and how you make that decision to get rid of things is a big challenge. Oh, absolutely.

Clancy Denton  16:02  
Especially, I mean, y'all been in that house? Like you said first? I mean, the moving is gonna, yeah, that's a big process.

JP Shiffer  16:10  
Yeah. Is that when we moved was so we we started living in Frisco back in 99. And when we moved from that side of Frisco, to this side of Frisco, which we stayed in the house for, right at 12 years, right? It wasn't, it was odd, because we were going to a bigger house. And we thought we were going to have a lot more space. And we really didn't. So we did not actually bring a whole lot of stuff with us. But for the little hideaway places, uh, you know, you kind of start realizing like, oh, I, I added this, you know, storage rack, you know, and I added some stuff in the garage. I mean, we were looking at our cabinets the other night, and, and that was that we found something like, five or six mason jars that really needed to go back to my mom, you know, so she could do jams and jellies with with and not have to, you know, buy new ones. I mean, just silly stuff like that. Yeah. That process. Yeah, we've done a whole set of pottery stuff up on one of our top shows. And it's for serving, I don't know whether it's like a Santa Fe style serving set or something like that. So it's all made out of porcelain, everything I was like, we were putting that we're gonna set, take that down, put that out in the front room, and get that sold on next door as quickly as possible.

Rick Denton  17:24  
And that's what's hard about objects is the object. This isn't deep or anything, but objects have such a sentimental value to them. But the object itself may not have any actual monetary value or anything along those lines. So you have this, well, I can try to sell it and then you realize nobody actually wants it. And then you think, Well, I don't want to throw that away. Because that was the thing that we'd served at somebody's seven year old birthday party or whatever that looks like. It's gonna be hard. We are choosing at least for now to stay in this house for now. I know that that decision, though, is one that's going to be a tricky one. When it's time to say yeah, all right, we're out of this way too big house, and let's go find something that fits what our current lifestyle is. And y'all have made that move now,

Clancy Denton  18:08  
and y'all are moving, you know, Phil are moving within five miles, probably 10 miles. So you know, you're not mad. But I know y'all had talked about maybe looking at some different places. But

Rick Denton  18:20  
why didn't? Why didn't you go outside of the area? What kept you reasonably local, as opposed to go into another location?

Aeryn Shiffer  18:29  
I think well, so we we've looked obviously, not only because candies in Arkansas, but JP does a lot of biking. And so Arkansas was one of those, I want to be at a beach at some point. So Florida was kind of a decision. Or

Rick Denton  18:43  
a lot of beaches in Arkansas.

Aeryn Shiffer  18:45  
There's lakes, so beautiful. I think, you know, that was an interesting decision for us. Because I think home base wise, we are not I know y'all talked about somewhat last week, you know, with the, you know, where we are as empty nesters, we're not retiring yet. Right. And that's, I think some of it right, we still have a good, you know, 1015 years before we may retire. And so JPS jobs here, I can kind of go anywhere, but we're supposed to be going back to the office, things like that. So it would be a change, if we did move somewhere. And so we we kind of looked at that stuff, and decided, you know, let's let's have our home base here, let's let's build the house, we want here, that kind of thing. And then as he said earlier, like maybe at some point in the future, we buy like a Airbnb type thing to where we can rent out, you know, in these other places, and then we can go there.

JP Shiffer  19:39  
Yeah, well, and I would say that, you know, the other side. The flip side of that is that I recently changed jobs and working for a new company. And with that job change, you know, I'm trying to help the company grow and which I mean we are having some some major growth which is good. It's all in the positive direction and with that Rove, it's harder for me to be, you know, away from the office. Now I'm traveling, traveling to all kinds of different customers, mainly here, it's still here in Texas, but but when I have to travel, I need to be close to the airport. Well, I didn't really want to move, we looked at places where I'd be right underneath the airport. And I think the hardest thing was that we could never find something that really was a plus for both Aaron and I. So as we started looking at some designs and stuff like that, and you know, I figured that out, I said, Hey, you know, what, there's places all in little elm. And I would say all in little, little on, they're almost all gone now. But where there's land that's available, I was like, why don't we just, you know, buy land and then build something custom on it. That way, it's the house that we want. It's the we can still bring people to the house, you know, we still have the kids over and that kind of stuff. It won't be super small, you know, and we can put the things in that we really want to, but there were so many different checkboxes, and I just happen to run across this one piece of land. And I was like, guess what, it's near the airport? Well, it's by mileage, right? It's close to my job. And then, you know, Aaron still doesn't have too far of a drive to drive in if she needs do. So with all those, there's so many different variables.

Clancy Denton  21:15  
And y'all can still stay connected to you know, everyone here and, you know, you first you were lucky to find land still and let alone. And but yeah, why not build the house that you want to live for the next, you know, 10 to 12 years until you do retire? And then you can do whatever you want? Yeah, I would say

JP Shiffer  21:38  
there's two other factors that went with it, though. And one was friends, I mean, you know, we do have a lot of good close friends in the area. And our families are equidistant on all different directions. And then, of course, the church that we're at, we're just we kind of value where we're at right now. And we've driven a long distance to try to go to the places that we want to. And I'd rather only be, you know, 10 minutes down the road from my friends as opposed to another.

Rick Denton  22:08  
That, and I think we because we did talk about it last week. And it really is kind of this growing epiphany for me is and what you just said there is the idea of Wait, it's still 10 to 15 years of retirement? Because I think in my mind, it was well, why would we move somewhere because we're moving into the next phase. But if you're actually here for 10 to 15 years, that's the same amount of time, as we just talked about raising our kids in these homes. So you're talking about, yes, it's a change to a next phase, but it's not a temporary, this is a next permanent phase that you're going to be a part of. Yeah.

Clancy Denton  22:39  
So JP actually set us up really,

Rick Denton  22:42  
really nicely for us that we want to ask you.

Clancy Denton  22:45  
You set us up for the next topic that we want to talk about. So So yeah, so I mean, when as long as we've known you use you've always traveled with your jobs. But Aeryn, how is it now that you don't have Kennedy Avery? I mean, it's you and the dogs, you know, Coco and rhesus at the house. So how has it been? Because I know now he's really? Yeah, he's been traveling a lot.

Aeryn Shiffer  23:12  
Yeah, it's it's definitely very different. It was funny, we were talking about this the other day that I think it's like, the girls were always very involved in all kinds of activities, right? Whether it was committed advance or soccer, that's and so, you know, I was always going somewhere. And so now with him trout traveling, it's, I'm at the house a lot. And it's quiet. And, you know, what do I do? And how do I get out of the house and do things and it's in for me, I'm, I'm somewhat of an introvert in some ways. I mean, once I'm with people, it's great. But being that person that kind of reaches out, and hey, let's go do this, or let's go do that. And so it's, it's definitely it's a change for me, I think, to try to figure out how do I get these groups and JP has always been like, well, you need to go, you know, go go out with the girls or go do this or, and so 

JP Shiffer  24:02  
Go take a cruise

Rick Denton  24:06  
like, we just kicked it up a notch in New

Aeryn Shiffer  24:09  
York, and, you know, in front of the New York thing, like even I'm like crazy, and then we're printing take and join us. You know, he was like, that's great. And so I think that's been it's gonna be an adjustment for me to, you know, continuing adjustments for me to you know, get out and do more things and

JP Shiffer  24:27  
and all I want to say is thank you for going with her to New York, because that means that I did not have to

Clancy Denton  24:35  
Yeah, we did.

JP Shiffer  24:37  
I did not belong there.

Clancy Denton  24:40  
And Aeryn, you bring up a really good point because that is so true. And we've kind of touched on it that your people that you do stuff with, you know, are the people that your kids are in activities with. Yeah, we knew like okay, we may not be going out to dinner on whatever night but oh, we have the basketball game up. Lonestar. So hey, we'll see you there while the girls dance up at the basketball game, we would just all sit there and talk, you know, so yeah, there were those. And especially with drill team, there were so many activities and, you know, bookings and all kinds of things. So yeah, I really wasn't, you know, like, who are we going out with later this week? Are the Reds moms that? You know, some have graduated? Some have not. And so yeah, it really is trying to figure out what's your where's your new place in the social calendar and social groups when it's not built in for you with your kids? Yeah. And

Rick Denton  25:40  
you did say, Aeryn, that you were, you know, okay, I'm trying to start to find activities and that sort of stuff. Is this? Is it something that's still sort of out there? Or are you now like, actively, I have to make a conscious choice? These are the things I need to start targeting and go start doing has there been anything that you really aren't? I am starting this now. Because I've got this space in my calendar. Now.

Aeryn Shiffer  26:03  
I work out a lot more.

Clancy Denton  26:06  
You always work out though. So,

Aeryn Shiffer  26:09  
you know, I think like church that right. So there's there's different things that now, you know, there's different conferences or groups you can join up there that, you know, now that the kids are gone. It's like, oh, well, I actually have, you know, a Friday night available in the fall versus before I didn't. But yeah, I think that's some of it. I know, JP and I are trying to find more things. Like just random things that come up during the week or on the weekend to do, right.

JP Shiffer  26:37  
Yeah, I mean, there's a was it so many different festivals that are always in the area, but we never had to do any, any of the Fall Festival stuff. Because we were always doing Friday night, lights or whatever. So as those activities are popping up now, and I'm just like, what about this weekend? What about this weekend? If I look at my own schedule, I realize I'm traveling, I'm out. I gotta race Unarchiver, Missouri, you know, I have to still manage a little bit of a schedule where I'm taking up some weekends. But I know that we've been trying to actively plan something like larger every two weekends. And then and then we'll just kick back on the next weekend. So yeah,

Rick Denton  27:15  
yeah. Well, the kickback part, for sure. Something as we have kind of jumped into, and September is almost overwhelmed. Me, I don't know, maybe even us but where we looked and we're like, holy crap, we planned a significant something on every weekend. We need to put in actually, we I think we may be over indexing. And we need to bring that pendulum back towards hey, let's do something this week and actually sit around and do nothing.

Clancy Denton  27:39  
I'm actually looking forward to October because right now as it stands, we don't have anything on the calendar. I know we will on the weekends, but we don't have anything.

Rick Denton  27:48  
What did I just say? The Austin airport yesterday? Oh, I saw that flight to Cancun that looks okay, that's a different guy.

Clancy Denton  27:58  
Y'all spurs Parents Weekend with Kennedy. How was that it was last week. And in Arkansas. How was it?

Aeryn Shiffer  28:05  
She, she says, so we ended up she had gotten a ticket in the student section. But a lot of her friends weren't going because it wasn't a big game, right. And so she had friends that were sitting with their parents. And so she ended up not having anyone really in the student section that she knew well enough to kind of sit with. And so she was like, Well, I'm gonna come I'm gonna come to your booth near you, which is quite funny, because she is a very independent child. And so it was really interesting to see her kind of be like, Where y'all at? Can I come over there? Whereas before it would have been, you know, oh, no, I'm been hanging out with my buddy over here, you know, that kind of thing. So. But it was nice. She got to she actually got the the attendant in our area was really nice. And let her kind of come into the area we were in. We asked, and he was like, oh, yeah, she can come stand over there. So that was nice to be able to hang out with her during the game. And it was funny to watch her because there are people taking up a lot of like space and kind of not allowing her to watch the game and reserving. It was really intriguing. So, but she was doing a good job of like, kind of holding her ground and that kind of thing. You know, just being able to hang out with her, you know, and take whichever to Walmart and got her some groceries. She was funny. She, when we had gone down to move her in it. We went on Friday night mudra. And on a Saturday and all four of the suitemates all came in at like every other hour, basically. So it was chaos. I mean, it was complete chaos. And she was like, I don't know, she wasn't just awake. I don't know. So she was moving very slowly. And so we

Clancy Denton  29:35  
Kennidy was moving slowly in the morning. What?

Rick Denton  29:40  
Sorry, Kennidy , if you're listening to this, she has she would

Clancy Denton  29:43  
claim that she would.

JP Shiffer  29:45  
She chose to move in at the time that she did early, the earliest time slot that you possibly can and that was way before the time she wakes up on Saturday.

Aeryn Shiffer  29:55  
But yeah, so so it was nice like going this time because she had said you didn't get me snacks before. You left last time and you didn't. So being able to like, take her to Walmart, let her shop for snacks, then that kind of thing. So, of course she's complaining about the food.

Rick Denton  30:13  
We're complaining about the food she doesn't like. I'm curious about one thing, because this is this is Joe's first Parents Weekend with the second child. So was it different? Right? Or let me ask it differently. How was it different going to see your parents weekend with some knowledge of what it was like with first child, but its second child how that changed?

Clancy Denton  30:36  
Talk about because your children are at two totally different types of schools. So I'm sure this was how was the time we're going to see.

JP Shiffer  30:47  
Yeah, I would say I would say like for every school, I mean, you're absolutely right. Clancy. Every school everything is a lot more low key. So I mean, we most of it was always around, you know, surrounded about food. And I think there was one thing we go to, she was on the DNC, she's on the dance team. So we went to one of the games, watched her dance, but at the same time, that was, you know, something where all the parents were invited to go to the game anyway. So I was like, we were going regardless, but so there wasn't, there wasn't like a whole lot of activities that were going on. And we we know the Tyler area, because that's where Aeryn from, you know, so it wasn't, it wasn't a huge surprise, you know, on how everything was set up. But I'll tell you one thing, the food was a lot better. Because, uh, you know, for me, it's like, it's all about the food, right? So, it's

Clancy Denton  31:35  
another reason that we all get along.

JP Shiffer  31:40  
But when we went to, when we went to Arkansas, it was weird, because everything was like, you know, it was it was next level, it was like, you know, they were trying to, you know, impress all the, the alumni that have their kids that are going there now, even Was it one of the ladies that was over housing, or something like she was, you know, had to be embarrassing the heck out of her freshman kid, you know, unless, unless she's always been in the spotlight. But, you know, because her kid was was going there now. And it was just funny, because everybody had like, you know, there were very, there were more outward more outspoken, you know, whereas Tyler everybody was like was, they weren't sure how to act, you know, just like everybody was much more reserved, because like their kid chose to go here. But it's not a real flamboyant school or anything like that. So our console, definitely just completely different. The experience was different. I would say that if we had to go back to Parents Weekend, again, we probably wouldn't spend the money to go all to all the different events because they had so many different other things that were going on. But

Rick Denton  32:42  
yeah, that is definitely the big state schools or the there's always something to get you connected as a parent, probably so that you open your wallet for other aspects. What about what about? And you kind of mentioned this, but I'm curious, what about not necessarily first child, second child. But now you've gone back to A Parent's Weekend with Kennedy? How was that different? Like, how did your relationship shift? How did it feel different that weekend versus the weekend that you left her off? dropped her off in

Clancy Denton  33:09  
the summer? Because we're going ours is coming up?

Aeryn Shiffer  33:13  
I think it's funny that things they because we talked about this and Teagan is the same way. Right? They're very independent, in many ways, like they've just always been that way. And so, you know, when she got her license, and she was driving everywhere, and you know, we really didn't have to do a ton of, you know, baiting them or whatever, that kind of thing. But it's been kind of funny, pull it back the the things she's learned. She's like, I have to understand or realize what I want to have for dinner. And for lunch. It's not I can just come down the stairs and mom has made dinner. I didn't think about when I want to do the laundry.

JP Shiffer  33:49  
How to do the laundry because I offered many times the order? And yeah, so she figured, luckily, she's figured out how to do her own.

Aeryn Shiffer  34:01  
But that's what's kind of different, you know, and we've talked about this, I think thing I'm excited about with her is seeing her grow up, right become more of an adult for that kind of thing. And so it's been fun to kind of watch her slowly. Obviously, it's only been a month and a half or so. But she's she's doing

JP Shiffer  34:19  
and already doing her best to avoid drama. So there's plenty of that there and she's, she's doing a pretty good job of avoiding all the crazies.

Clancy Denton  34:29  
But both our girls are very good at our kids

Rick Denton  34:33  
are both drama adjacent but not drama interested. I'm interested there's actually I want us to kind of close with some but there's a question that I want to ask. So you just talked about seeing your child become independent seeing your and it's a journey that all of us are going through this if we start with our first kid. How has that changed how you feel about yourself as a parent seeing that because now there's not another one that you're still doing that parenting to So now you've done the parents, when you've seen that second child independent, has it changed how you feel about yourselves?

JP Shiffer  35:07  
I mean, I mean, our goal was always to make sure that, you know, when we, you know, kick the birds out of the nest that they fly, right. I mean, I, I think both of us feel that we gave them all the right tools, you know, and we were successful, hey, you know, what, they got out of school, nobody got pregnant. Nobody got into too much trouble where that they couldn't get out of, you know, it was it was one of those things where it's like, okay, we were successful in doing that. And now our, this is the next test, right? Kind of like you were saying, seeing them, you know, do I guess, Aaron was super nervous the first time that he drove home by herself, or drove down and drove down by herself. And like, I am, too, I was like, vote, you know, she's got the AAA card, she's got a cell phone, there's, there's more communication tools ever than what we had when we were kids. So now look at I'm more nervous about Kennedy driving home from Arkansas, because it's a longer distance. And she's got an angel car. But at the same time, I'm just like, but I know Kennedy's, you know, she's a good driver. And we're hoping that she, you know, kind of tries to come down with somebody else. But the level of independence that they're going through makes me feel like we did exactly what we set out to do. It's more of just it's more of a reassurance that we did the proper parenting to get her to the point that she is at now.

Rick Denton  36:30  
It's awesome. That's awesome. I do want to err in any different perspective as a mom or similar perspective.

Aeryn Shiffer  36:36  
It's, you know, it's obviously, it's a it's a hard thing, right, as a mom as a parent to kind of give them that independence. It was it was interesting, I actually go back to Avery I was having a conversation with her, I guess it was a seminar, I'd gone down. And it was really neat, because she's realizing the difference in the relationship. That oh, we're yes, you're so my mom, and I'm so gonna call you for advice. Or if I've done bad on a test, or we're just because that's just Avery. But, you know, just she understands that, that we've kind of done that transition from so not so much parenting into more of a kind of a friendship, right of, you know, you can tell me things and you can bounce ideas off of me and, and that kind of thing. So it's kind of neat to see

Clancy Denton  37:21  
this. So the Text this Week is from Kennedy. I laughed in the car when I got this. So and we will put it, we'll put it up on the screen along with all the pictures that we were talking about as we go through but so Kennedy sent a picture to Aeryn. And I think Avery was on this too, because I love Avery's response. But it's a picture of the cup of Froot Loops and a Celsius and it says lunch. And so air and so air and response so healthy. And Kennedy said it's too hot to walk all the way to the food hall, which I love. And then I love. I love Avery's response. Honestly, for a college student at least she's eating lunch. I love that, that that is because I know everyone involved quintessential Kennedy. And I love a response. Aeryn saying, well, that's super healthy. So good to know, they're making some, you know, like Joyce Lee. She was eating. She

Aeryn Shiffer  38:33  
was funny. She was we went back and forth. So there was an outbreak of E. Coli in Arkansas. So that was a funny one too, because it is a funny, you know, obviously it's not funny, but um, she the one thing she likes the most they are she can have sushi on her meal plane. And so she's been eating sushi. And so that was another one that was kind of, you know, well, great. I've been eating sushi for the last week.

JP Shiffer  39:00  
Nurse Avery was just like, stay away from you know, raw vegetables, whatever. She doesn't eat sushi every day for the last two weeks or something like that. And so we're like, Well, you know, she was like, alright, well, she's headed to dinner. And she was like, guess what? Sushi? Yeah.

Rick Denton  39:19  
Continuing that in the street that are described? Well, it is it is absolutely great to catch up with you all to hear your stories because it is it's a different one that what we're going through right now the idea of changing the home and all of that. And and it certainly the traveling in that aspect of it has to have a major impact. But it is good to hear that. Your girls are doing just fine. I know we're feeling good about ours doing just fine. And you're right jpg said Our goal was to push them out of the nest and they actually fly instead of splat and it's nice to see them actually flying.

Clancy Denton  39:52  
So thanks. Thanks for joining us on The loud quiet living the empty nest

Transcribed by https://otter.ai