2024 Big Events and Micro Enhancements - E21

Clancy Denton  0:00  
Welcome to the loud quiet. Ooh, empty nester. Okay. What does that mean?

Rick Denton  0:06  
I think that actually probably is the theme of the empty nest. What are we doing? Let's do this. Let's do this thing. Is this recording. Okay, yes

Clancy Denton  0:15  
great. Sans, children we need a tissue box up here to follow along on our journey and maybe you know we can learn from others.

Rick Denton  0:23  
I don't have a clue how to be an empty nester there.

Clancy Denton  0:25  
This is the loud quiet, living the empty nest.

Rick Denton  0:31  
Everybody welcome back to a another episode of the loud quiet it is episode 21. We no longer have to use our fake ID we can actually enjoy. We're legal, we can go to the bar confidently and order the Martini that well, many times I think we so desperately need. Today we just wanted to talk a little bit because it is we're recording this on January 9. So right here at the beginning of the year when people's minds start to talk and or to start to think about the year ahead. What's What do you have planned, and then also the cliched resolutions are on people's minds. I know that Tegan has helped us kind of think of it in a different way. And we want to talk a little bit about what that might look like as well. So today, it's 2024. Thinking about the future.

Clancy Denton  1:21  
Yes, I heard you know, and I think I put that in the one of our posts. I think it was when I did our happy new year post that, you know, I put the hashtag do more in 24. Which I did not make that up, obviously. Oh, I realized that you had I was No, I did not make that. I saw it on The Today Show. But I kind of like that, you know, I don't I don't know what 2020 threes was, but I kind of liked it the do more in 24. We kind of talked about I just love the kickoffs, you know, and people saying 24 is going to be a great year. And I'm I want to say well, did you say last year 2023 is going to be crap. I mean, of course everyone wants the new year to be this year is the year it's going to be the year I mean, yeah.

Rick Denton  2:17  
So it's the end what's I guess on a cosmic or you know, the the on a space level, there's nothing really different between December 31 and January 1, it's just a different position of the Earth around the Sun. It's just our minds go to alright, we get to throw like you physically still use a paper calendar and throwing that calendar away. And having a blank all this blank pages allow that sort of vision of optimism I did

Clancy Denton  2:42  
just because I have one on the fridge. And then I have the one that I carry. And yes, I still use the paper calendar. I still use the paper grocery store list, which I saw things real this week making fun of the moms with their grocery list, but definitely I do it. But yeah, I keep but I keep the little one for at least until we're halfway through January. Because just to make sure I didn't have anything written down. And that you know, but yes, it it is gone now. And you know, I think it's just like you said it's the start of a new year. It's kind of like with the seasons changing. You just kind of get a different mentality. You know, we this, this is going to be we have a lot of big events. Not a lot of big events. But we have some major big events this year. Yeah.

Rick Denton  3:38  
We were rattling them off before we started this recording. And there's there's some impactful ones.

Clancy Denton  3:45  
I mean, we didn't we didn't plan our children's births. We we didn't do that. But having two graduations back, you're back to back. It's going to be you know, college graduation is different, but it adds a different element for us because we are having to fly there. Tanner's graduation will involve three different ceremonies. One, of course is up to or at the beginning of the week one is at the end of the week, so you have to plan to stay there. Fine, right? Sure. We also have one though what that we'll be finishing up her finals during that week. So it's just it's a lot of I guess we should say the logistical thing if you don't

Rick Denton  4:33  
know kind of the balance Tanner is graduating from his undergrad year he's a senior as this last semester which all that goes into last semester all those conversations he is definitely got senior itis he'll be the first to admit it. And then Tegan will be wrapping up her first college year which sort of blows our minds as any passing of time. You know, I get a chuckle when I see people posting oh my gosh, my kid just entered sixth grade and I'm like Yeah. Except no, that's it. credibly meaningful. So each of our passages of time you're right though having back to back graduations is kind of I didn't even think about that until oh my gosh, yeah, both Mays back to back.

Clancy Denton  5:10  
And with Tanner's group, you know, he was the lucky 2020 group that we didn't even know if we were gonna get to have a graduation. Thankfully, Frisco ISD did let us have that. But we couldn't have the big celebrations at his, you know, graduation dinner, which was very nice. But we all had to be you had to sit with your family at separate tables. And we

Rick Denton  5:36  
booked it right. So just detail that we booked a private room, three tables in corners of the room, so you're celebrating his friends and family, but you're waiting. Hey,

Clancy Denton  5:44  
so it is you know, it'll, it'll be good. It will be enjoyable and good to be able to have the parties and have the graduation and how it's how it was supposed to be

Rick Denton  6:00  
and a senior year. And it's not just kids, right? There's things that we are looking forward to in this year as well with that open blank space calendar, you've got a brother and his wife that are over in Germany, and we're excited to go visit them. When he was in Thailand, when he was in Hong Kong, we made sure that we found a way to visit him there. So we're going to make sure before his time in Germany ends that we end up in get to see chat and neum over there. And God willing it 90% chance 99% Chance The kids are going to be a part of that. It's just going to be challenging to pull it off as one is entering well. Again, God Willing entering law school moving forward, he's got his first acceptance, we'll see wherever the rest of them go. Got that. There's another big milestone happening this year. For those listening, I just, I

Clancy Denton  6:48  
don't I mean, to me, that's just I talked again, I'm turning 50. I have no issue saying no, it's a thing to sell. Like I told my mom who will be at in a year and a half. But she said all of our friends keep saying Oh, you're almost and I said okay, but here's the deal. If you looked at and I looked 50, then I'd be upset about it. But

Rick Denton  7:11  
we don't. So y'all do have very young. And

Clancy Denton  7:14  
I just had my facial today. So that also helps. Now, so. So yes, we have that, and you had yours last year, and we didn't really do anything. But you know, we really want to take a nice trip. But as as many of you know, having two children in college, and one that's about to continue his education was not a lot of fun money. Let us which we talked

Rick Denton  7:46  
about here, we have a lot of fun going to see them that Greece is probably not going to be happening in the near term, but we will certainly get celebrate and do that. And then looking at 24 There's some other big, not big but just I'm already looking forward to because we did as of this recording yesterday, we sent both kids back yesterday. We may talk about that a little bit later in the episode. They I'm looking forward to seeing them in February. And I'm looking forward to going to New York with you, me and Tegan for her spring break. Tanner's Spring Break doesn't align with ours. I don't think it would even matter. I think he would still do his own thing. Actually senior

Clancy Denton  8:20  
is the same. Oh, it

Rick Denton  8:21  
is alright. Well

Clancy Denton  8:22  
there Yeah, we didn't even include him because we knew that wasn't gonna.

Rick Denton  8:25  
So there's a lot in the first half of 24 that I know we're looking for.

Clancy Denton  8:30  
Yeah, we Yeah. I mean, yes. Yesterday, like you said, you know, they both flew back to Arizona, different flights, but they were both at DFW at the same time. And you know, it was okay. Here's the difference between the senior going back and the freshman going back. The freshman was crying. I was crying. The senior was like, see in three weeks out of here.

Rick Denton  8:57  
You know, I think I do want to do I want to dive a little deeper. Let's talk about goals and that kind of stuff. But I think that might be interesting. This is our second time around with the two kids departure right? They came back for a month, then they disappeared. There's a whole different set of feelings and emotions in there that might be fun to explore on.

Clancy Denton  9:14  
When your child is walking back. Again, Tegan love the school rocked her first semester made good friends but when you're she's walking back into a situation that is not ideal. And when she's been home and then in her comfort zone and had her own space, that's what it was hard on her to.

Rick Denton  9:43  
That was that and there's there's so much

Clancy Denton  9:46  
now woven into all of its going to get taken care of. It will get taken care of.

Rick Denton  9:54  
you've explored many options. We're hoping for the easiest one there are many. Sorry to be oblique. Listen As well, if

Clancy Denton  10:00  
you've listened to our past episode, there is one that yeah, you can go revisit the I think it was something about helping your kids navigate the stormy seas or something. Yeah, so that is really and we just actually just paused so that we could talk to her on the phone. She's in much better spirits today because she got out and did she was just exhausted yesterday because they were both delayed. The weather here in Dallas was not cooperating with lights getting out. So she was just tired yesterday and worn out and emotional for those of you who are women, you know how that happens at a certain time of the month. So, but talking to her now she's just that is our child that likes structure. She likes structure. She likes routine. And because classes have not they start tomorrow. She does not do well with just idle. So yeah,

Rick Denton  10:58  
I think for us too, though, there's something about we know how to manage this. Like, you know, what it reminds me of is how she knows how to handle the second semester, right? The first semester, when are going to my classes, how do I get food? How do I do laundry? How do I just all the how tos. And it's not necessarily an anxiety about it. But if you and if you haven't done it before, you don't know how to do before, you may still feel the same things going back. And in this case, I still feel the sadness watching the kids depart I also know that in a few weeks, we will be in our empty nest rhythm we'll be talking about alright, what are we gonna go do this night? Or what how are we going to do this? Or what are we going to plan or, and even you talked about being able to even sleep a little better knowing that there wasn't a concern of is a kid coming home at night or something like that, as I

Clancy Denton  11:49  
slept through the fire alarm tripping last night and you getting out the ladder to change it? And I said, I really think it was because I woke up every night when he came in at two three in the morning. Every time last night slept like a baby had no idea what you were talking about this changes

Rick Denton  12:06  
like a smoke detector. And before anybody judges me, I did change the battery. So I don't want to hear any of that I did what I was supposed to do the smoke detector didn't. I think though that I can I can both feel sad that they've left and know that I'm actually kind of looking forward to what is going to be because I really enjoyed Yeah,

Clancy Denton  12:23  
well I think I think it goes back to like what people like routine as much as we enjoy the holiday season or your vacation. People we run on routine, we crave routine. We crave that just knowing how your day is going to be laid out. It's nice to take a break from that every once in a while but I think it's just in our human nature to enjoy routine and talking about you know, goals and resolutions kind of go along with maybe you quit your routine and now everyone you know, let's get back into it because it's January there's

Rick Denton  13:06  
a lot to what you're saying there it and you and I have kind of chuckled about that you know the who's going to show up at the gym we even said that last episode, which again, so supportive if someone does come in they actually intend to be there and not just flash in the pan. So please if you're thinking about a go gym workout, just walking the treadmill if you get started whatever you need but I think that's pretty insightful that that also is the the counter balance to that absence of routine Okay, I'm gonna go and get really strict on something. I think that's why a lot of resolutions may fail is that people over index they've gone to this just loosey goosey. I've eaten too much. I've drank too much. I've done all that and now I'm gonna go the other way. I like what Tegan talked to us about at a dinner one night and it was she doesn't do resolutions and you and I've never been big on resolutions either. She however said I do have goals that I want for myself and it was even though you could argue that's just at the source synonym it's slightly different Yeah,

Clancy Denton  14:06  
well I think because resolution almost has a negative cost like to force resolute is like a very this or the not you know goals involve continually trying to write you know, that's why they say most resolutions and by Superbowl weekend it'd because most most people's resolutions maybe not in the past couple of years but I would say growing up in the 80s knights were all a weight loss, weight loss weight loss fitness you know now I think we geared more towards the getting healthy and it's not necessarily just physically but mentally. But they do say Superbowl weekend is the weekend that most resolutions die. Yeah, so if

Rick Denton  14:54  
you're gonna Okay, I'm just gonna eat vegetables for myself. Yeah, that's and

Clancy Denton  14:58  
that's the other thing that I I being in the fitness industry you know, all my people were back in class today and man, there were a lot of it was the core class, everyone was just, you know, abs dying, because they're like, I haven't done the and you know. So yeah, it, but they were all back everybody was back but yes, I think just and that's what I was going towards is in fitness, you can't try to change four things, just pick one and focus on you know, you don't need to, okay, I'm going to work out for this man, I'm gonna stop eating this, I'm gonna just just pick one thing and focus on it.

Rick Denton  15:42  
The New York Times actually, I'm gonna get the headline, kind of wrong. But the point is, right. And it was instead of resolutions, micro enhancements. Yeah, yeah, it's it, it the enhancements. And I think that goes to the goal aspect of it. And some of the things that are seeking to end the positive element of a goal is it's something to achieve not something to stop. If a fitness goal is there, it could be a health objective that you're seeking, as opposed to what am I restricting myself from? And we're talking about, you know, health and that sort of thing. So, what are some of your goals for 24?

Clancy Denton  16:22  
I had I mean, I thought about it. And I kind of started this one. Really when we became empty nesters that I was going to start to say yes to more because I did not have a child left to use as my excuse, or you know, and I think I did I you know, we definitely did more things. And if someone just called Hey, you don't want to go do it? Sure. You know, because we did have a little more flexibility. I do. Getting back to saying goodbye to the kids. And I was so sad to see them go but I I enjoyed our empty nest for the last

Rick Denton  17:07  
four months. And that's something that I don't feel guilty about saying no.

Clancy Denton  17:12  
And I'm glad because you never know how that's gonna go. So no, I, as much as I hated them leaving I was looking forward to Okay, now we're back to our routine. And I did enjoy our spontaneity and that kind of thing that came out of it. So that's one of my goals is to say, yes, continue to be saying yes. Another one and I actually stole that or heard this today from but I had already thought about being more in the creative space. There's a couple of things that one solo thing and then one thing that you and I have kind of bantered back and forth about. And Jenna Bush Hager said, you know, one of hers was less screen time, more creative thinking time. And I was like, okay, that's gonna be really hard for me. Because, as you all know, has been a comment thread. I do love my screen time. So, um, so yeah, so I do have an idea that I have been mulling for what three years now.

Rick Denton  18:31  
It's an awesome idea. And so

Clancy Denton  18:32  
I'm, I'm

Rick Denton  18:36  
Are you gonna say it on the show or

Clancy Denton  18:37  
not? It is one of my goals...to explore that.

Rick Denton  18:42  
I love it. Okay. These are micro enhancements

Clancy Denton  18:45  
So if it doesn't happen. 

Rick Denton  18:47  
Oh, that's awesome. Oh, that's brilliant. So

Clancy Denton  18:50  
my other goal and this is probably my last one is to start going closet by closet in this house and get the stuff out that isn't there. I mean, poor Tegan needed. She was trying to find a book from her childhood. And so I'm like, open the closet. And she's like, Oh my gosh, like Yeah. That's what happens when you've lived in a house for six, almost 17 years coming up?

Rick Denton  19:21  
I do. I used to really be annoyed when I would come back from college. And there'd be a pile of different sizes sitting on my desk at times and then later when I would visit of my parents saying what do you want to do? And then as I exited college and had my own residences be the apartments or the houses that we lived in together the the pile would continue to be there of I don't want this in the house and even just happened on this visible Yeah,

Clancy Denton  19:52  
I know when we still go to Austin and they're like, Oh, do you want new we're not we're not bringing anything to this house. Unless It is something that those

Rick Denton  20:01  
two stockings were but it was funny to see that pile. Those two were allowed. But there's, there's some times you're like, No. Yeah, I don't want to hear seen in a lighter. Let's just get to it. If I

Clancy Denton  20:11  
haven't wanted it for 50 years, then yeah, so. So yeah, so I think those are kind of my goals. So maybe, you know, to retire at some point. So there, those are mine, what are what are yours.

Rick Denton  20:28  
So it's funny that you joked about that one there. You know, this listeners I do, I'm not going to bring y'all into the details of but I've had my own independent consulting business now for six and a half years, and I love it. I want to make a dramatic change in how I deliver the services to my clients that will then this is a goal enable us to have increased flexibility. Sure, everybody wants to make more money, and work less, and all that but and that's, that's true. That's a business objective. It is a desire to have increased flexibility, this innovating consulting thing has given us fantastic flexibility. And when we do the episode of Top Tips for empty nesters, that's going to be one on there. The increase of our control of our schedule, and it's all sounding very selfish, but there's a reason why I'm indexing on selfishness. And then I'm going to talk about the other goal that's in mind. It's how can we achieve that so that we can? Well honestly say yes, to even more things, we do a good job, there are times that we can't say yes, because and, and even on little small things like I have talked about going camping at the stupid Guadalupe Mountains National Park for a couple of years. Now it's an eight hour drive, it takes a little bit of commitment to get out there. Well, I have to have a little bit more flexibility in the work schedule to be able to do that and what I do for my clients, so that's one of them. Maybe it did bring you a little too far in the details or listeners. But the other is, and I've really been inspired by this by listening to a couple other folks out there. That if you've read and I'm pretty sure it's Adam Grant, I hope I get this right. There's a book called Give and take. And it's talking about the principles of business of who are the more successful people in business the givers or the takers or the the negotiators the ones that give and then receive an A traded. And it's not viewed from an altruistic lens, it is viewed exclusively through a what is most successful for business lens. So inspired by that inspired by others. In just the you know, what is your motivation for doing what you do? And at the risk of sounding a little too Pollyanna ish. I want to spend more time understanding how in the business context. What do I do that helps make things better for others? How do I get the chance to serve others and that doesn't have to mean like necessarily charitable or anything like that. A business that serves that as a successful restaurant is serving their customers through great meals and great experiences. So it doesn't have to be this charitable vision. But what does it mean to do what I do for customer experience? What does it mean to do what I do on the podcast, the business podcast that I have, what does it mean to do that in the service of others and how can I reshape my mind so that the business goals are not secondary but are at least primary primarily driven by the service of others and almost similar to your you're kind of joking about the creative idea that you have I don't want anybody to call me up and marching away you don't on that record. It is it is a goal it is a micro enhancement that I'm I'm looking to drive towards in the business sense of it. I want to eat more fried stuff with cheese. I want to have more beer and more bourbon. So those are my other micro enhancers as well. Other than maybe you're not growing you're doing dry

Clancy Denton  24:13  
January. I liked someone I liked someone called it let's do damp January Yeah.

Rick Denton  24:23  
Okay, are you really gonna go dry we did a dry January and it was fine like thank thank God and I'm not belittling those that actually do have a challenge with alcohol. we don't. so stopping for January was possible it just

Clancy Denton  24:36  
we had just over indulge that one year kind of like during COVID But I can't do it anymore. I just I physically my body will not let me drink the way I used to drink and what

Rick Denton  24:49  
I was saying about the dry January though we realized it just wasn't necessary. And I think that's why you're seeing a lot of folks during the damp just maybe yeah, maybe I just need to have a cocktail every night like we you do through the hall. Holidays. Yeah,

Clancy Denton  25:00  
yeah. So yeah, cuz I yeah, I saw I heard damp January and then I also heard someone calling it. I have some really good ideas when I have what brain

Rick Denton  25:13  
I need to show you one of my brainstorming in my notes. It's actually called boozy brainstorm. Yeah. Well I'm not showing that well, actually, you know, you want to know what one of them is on there. Just for kicks. We can edit this out if we don't want to audition for the in stadium PA announcer for the Texas legends. Why not?

Clancy Denton  25:37  
Okay, 

Rick Denton  25:38  
the guy at and sorry, if FC Dallas guy you're listening, but the people standing around and said, Gosh, that guy's voice is really high pitched. That's an interesting stadium Announcer maybe I should go try for the Toyota one on there. Yeah, maybe. So that's on the boozy brainstorming list and not on the 2024 goals. I need to share that one with you. 

Clancy Denton  25:57  
So but yeah, we didn't really talk about but we didn't talk before. We're kind of doing this off the cuff. You know, and I don't like we haven't talked really about couples goals or anything, but I'm not gonna get in because I don't know what any of those are. Although I did see 50 cent has said he, no more sex for him and 24 He's going to be abstinent. So I don't know him. And I just right before we came up here to do this, again, on my screen time. So

Rick Denton  26:34  
there's a really good example of why screen time should be backed down because, one. I can't say that word. No way. And then two. Who cares? 50 cent Why

are you even putting that out there 

Clancy Denton  26:47  
provided fodder for the podcast 

Rick Denton  26:50  
No. Why did he do that? Who cares? People are putting weight well, and here we are out of that same. Some very hypocritical people putting way too much out there. Said the guy on a podcast with his wife talking about being an empty nester. So

Clancy Denton  27:05  
yeah, I do.

Rick Denton  27:06  
 I mean, you know what a lot of the couple's goals will be you're right everywhere out of time here. The the couple goals that I think are a lot of what we intended to do when we became empty nesters that it was now we're in second semester. So if it was English, 101 if it's empty nest one a one now it's empty nest 102.

Clancy Denton  27:26  
Yeah, and I mean, I, I think we did a pretty good job. Yeah, I think I've I felt good about the first four months. I think doing this probably really helped. And, you know, it was a scheduled, strong scheduled,

Rick Denton  27:46  
I think this was beyond help. I think this was instrumental in the success for

Clancy Denton  27:50  
us. Yeah. And again, you know, we love the fact that some of y'all have been with us from the beginning. And you know, we love the feedback, and we hear a lot of it through my parents. And so yeah, we do we enjoy that hearing the feedback. And if anyone has any ideas, you know, we have, again, we've talked about a couple of things that we do want to touch on in this next couple of months. And I'm hoping that those will come together and

Rick Denton  28:25  
those will be impactful. And if you have any 2024 Micro enhancers, and we really like them, we'll put them on the screen. We'll make them a part of your the next episode, so send them our way. I

Clancy Denton  28:36  
did well, that's what I found that list of you know, it said unique resolutions. I didn't find anyone really unique. But you know, a couple were like, oh, start working out together. Yeah, that's not happening already. What me and then I have my I have my workout partner. You do? And it's not me. It's not well, okay, but I don't care if you're there, but I don't as long as you're not in

Rick Denton  29:04  
it because it's a three room gym. And so yeah, okay, I can be in the gym, but not in one of the three rooms that you're in.

Clancy Denton  29:11  
I thought that one was interesting. Oh, number one was more hydration. So I wouldn't drink you. If you I know. We're already big water drinkers. I know. Our age group and especially our children. They will Yeah, they, you know, water is their first choice. So I know there's

Rick Denton  29:35  
some a lot of folks that are a generation above us that are listening to this that aren't so good at hydrating so let that be. Can we give others a 24 Micro enhancer drink water? Yeah. So that's our I'm looking forward to 24 Yeah, in general with you. With our audience. This is going to be fun. Yeah,

Clancy Denton  29:54  
this year is gonna be you know, I I long for A year where we can just plan our life how we want to plan our life without caveat being. I'm so honored

Rick Denton  30:09  
if you're listening, you didn't see my furrowed brow or you're not familiar with the phrase, man plans God laughs

Clancy Denton  30:15  
I know. But I don't even mean that. I mean, like, Okay, if my parents three, five years ago wanted to go to Germany in July got they they could go they didn't have to wait on Okay, well, where's this one going to be at law school where? You know, we're so yeah, so

Rick Denton  30:37  
well that empty nesters 303. We're learning our way. We got more flexible. We're getting more and then after our graduation will when we enter the master's program. empty nesters. Yeah.

Clancy Denton  30:50  
So there you go. Thanks for joining us episode 21. The loud quiet living the empty nest

Transcribed by https://otter.ai