Empty Nesters Go To A Rave – E114

Rick Denton (00:04)
Hey everyone, welcome back to The Loud Quiet. Before we get into the episode, wanted to remind everyone we've got our first book coming out. It's going to come out in January. And if you'd like to stay up to date with the progress of the book, get some early information about it, and be informed about special offers, head over to theloudquiet.com. All of that information we're going to be making available to those that are part of our newsletter. And so you can sign up for the newsletter at theloudquiet.com.

Clancy Denton (00:32)
Yes, very excited about that coming out. Hopefully in January we will keep you posted. Today we wanted to talk about, you know, we said yes to writing a book. That's been our mantra since we have become empty nesters is saying yes to things. So today we have a part of our episode is about we said yes to something that Tanner has been asking us to do.

for years since he has really gotten into the EDM world, electronic dance music world. So we said yes to something that I didn't know that we would ever say yes to.

Rick Denton (01:14)
really thought this was going to end being the category of it never happens for us.

Clancy Denton (01:19)
So yes, we were invited to a show at Silo, which is a venue, newer venue in Dallas. It's only been open now, I think, a year. mean, Tanner was there for the opening and frequents it quite often with his friends. So yes, we said, OK, to this show.

for a DJ that we actually know.

Rick Denton (01:43)
Recognize the name, right? At least for me, I recognize the name. Maybe some of the songs I would know if I really thought about it. But it's a known name and a bigger name in that world,

Chris Lake. it's hitting my ears kind of funny when you say show, because I'm almost imagining like, you know, a classic dance review or something like, this was, well, we're calling it a rave. Maybe it's not technically a rave, but this was a full-on EDM concert experience.

Clancy Denton (02:14)
Yes. Indoors, which was nice.

And Chris Lake is 43. So he has been around for a while. So you have probably heard his mixes in songs that you don't even know that's what you're hearing.

Rick Denton (02:31)
Might have been in the background of a movie or a commercial or something like that.

Clancy Denton (02:34)
Collaborations,

you know, that's the big thing is collabs with everyone. So yes, we bought tickets for this probably, I'd say, three or four weeks ago, and it's been sitting on our calendar. Now, the reason that Tanner chose this one, he had gone Saturday night to see Chris Lake, but the Sunday night show, because it's on a Sunday, everything had to be backed up a couple of hours because of.

curfews sound curfew.

Rick Denton (03:05)
Yeah, guess, yeah, there must have been a rule. I didn't think about it, but it must be City of Dallas Sound Curfews on a Sunday night, Monday morning.

Clancy Denton (03:10)
Yes,

so instead of the main performer coming on at midnight, he starts at 10. So we were done at midnight instead of two. So there we go.

Rick Denton (03:23)
That's why we did it because it was two hours earlier, right? We knew we'd be out by midnight because of curfews and all that kind of stuff. It is kind of funny to think about the saying yes part of it. know, 10 o'clock for us on a Sunday night is usually, I'm already solidly asleep or approaching asleep by that point.

Clancy Denton (03:40)
We're definitely probably in the back at that point in our bedroom, like reading, getting ready for bed, definitely not standing amongst a bunch of people, different age groups. I would say I didn't see too many moms and dads there at this event, but there are moms and dads that do go to these. And it was also fun, we went with one of...

Tanner's law school friends and then one of his friends that he has been friends with since kindergarten and his dad came along as well. So that was fun to get to reconnect and hang out. you know, during the show I said, you know, we went to EdgeFest together, all of us. ⁓ yeah, I thought I said that to you too. said, and I told whoever I think I was telling either Julian or Zach, Tanner's friends that went that

Rick Denton (04:25)
Oh gosh, I had forgotten about it. wasn't part of that.

Clancy Denton (04:37)
We sat on the curb waiting for Julian's granddad to come pick us up and we were, you know, we were probably in our 40s, but maybe. But yeah, so I was like, this is full circle. Here we are.

Rick Denton (04:47)
Yeah, 30s, 40s, whatever, yeah, somewhere in that range.

Now, for those that don't know Edgefest, it's a big music festival in the alternative rock scene and kind of that late 90s, early aughts, that music scene. So Weezer and other bands in that category would be who we saw. So those were our music festivals then. But this wasn't, this isn't music that you are unaware of. It's not like EDM is something you weren't a part of.

Clancy Denton (05:14)
I, you know, for those of you who listen to that kind of music back in the nineties, even probably late eighties, nineties, you know, I used to go to clubs and dance to this kind of music. So it was really putting me back into I really do dig this kind of music. And I just had a lot of fun. really. For being there as long as we were, because there were

two openers and I really was like, gosh, it went by really fast.

Rick Denton (05:51)
is something that surprised me. There was only one moment actually during Chris Lake's set that I found myself going, okay, I'm not feeling whatever it was. It probably was just the energy of the song, whatever it was. And that was maybe a five minute moment. The rest of it, just, it was the kind of music that just makes you smile. It makes you want to dance. And I'm not a big dancer.

I just loved it. The closest I came to this was Depeche mode and the electronic synth stuff of the 80s. Even that is different than this. This is the full-on lasers. We watched those first two acts, and they do this by design. Tanner was helping teach us about these festivals. The first two acts had energy, but it was toned down energy. We could even have a normal conversation without yelling.

Clancy Denton (06:44)
you

Rick Denton (06:46)
And then as soon as chrysalate came on, the intensity of the base, I can't describe this enough. I'm not being metaphorical here. Our clothes were shaking. You could feel your pants and your shirts vibrating against your skin. was so intense.

Clancy Denton (07:02)
But it wasn't uncomfortable. sometimes, like you even... I earplugs. wears earplugs. Like he learned going to cheer competitions that the music is so loud that he would wear earplugs and you wore earplugs when we went to see the cure. But this, you brought him and you didn't need him. I could still hear if I was talking to someone. I mean, I had to, of course, yell a little bit, but it wasn't like I thought it was just going to be mind numbing, so loud.

but it wasn't and the lasers were so cool. mean, it was just a really neat vibe and venue. And the venue, I will say this, if you live in the Dallas area, if you have children that go to this venue, if you want to go to this venue, this was the cleanest, huge amount of bathrooms. I mean, clean, well air conditioned, well ventilated.

Rick Denton (08:01)
Huge bars, right?

Clancy Denton (08:03)
Yes,

no one ever

Rick Denton (08:04)
Booms

or water or whatever, you weren't waiting for anything. Extremely clean. I was very, very surprised by that. Silo has done a very good job with what they think this is, I'd have to have an audio engineer explain this to us. I wonder if it's because of the cleanness of the sound, the quality of the speakers that are used as to why it was able to be that loud, but it wasn't that destructive. I didn't walk out of there, shoot, I remember walking out of a Motley Crue concert in the 80s and my ears rang for a couple days.

Either I've just lost enough hearing already that nothing rings anymore, or it was surprisingly loud but clear.

Clancy Denton (08:41)
really was surprised by that. And Tanner has always told us the vibe, everyone is just friendly. there's no drunken brawls going on. Sometimes at these big musical events, things like that happen. mean, everyone is just there to hear the music.

and be friendly with each other. mean, you know, some guy came up to me and he was like, I really like your vibe. You know, I just, you look happy. I said, I'm here with my son. And he was like, my gosh. And he turned out to be, Tanner came up, he's like, my gosh, you're the rave dad. So he is on Instagram raved dad. And he has a 12 year old that he has started taking to some of the appropriate ones to take.

This one was totally appropriate. He could have been there. just late. he was like, my gosh, that is amazing. You're here with your kid. we got looked at a lot that night as, wow, your parents are coming to something that I bet a lot of parents would be like, ⁓ no way.

Rick Denton (09:50)
is certainly we got the cool parent points. And it wasn't just the cool parent points from Tanner, from his friends, that sort of thing. I forget which group it was that was dancing kind of to your right or maybe to your back. I think there was a younger woman there that was talking to you about that. And there was a lot of that, my gosh, I can't believe that you're here with you, that sort of thing. it is kind of fun.

And yeah, it almost made me feel a little sense of pride to stand out as the old people in the crowd. And I joked when I walked in, said, all right, I'll buy a drink for whoever finds the first person that's older than us. And we did, there were a couple people, but I would say we were definitely on the upper end. We were in the one percenters.

Clancy Denton (10:34)
we both had some experiences that were like, OK, yes, we are old. the person next to me, I turned and we were, you know, smiling at each other. And then he proceeded to do a bump of cocaine, which I turned to Tanner and I said, my gosh, that guy just had a little spoon and did cocaine. And Tanner goes, well, it could have been ketamine. OK, great. I don't think either one is. So.

He said, yeah, the drug scene is still, but he said, but he's never seen anything out of control or just crazy, crazy.

Rick Denton (11:12)
What I got from that was by walking around was that was not the common. No. wasn't absent. It was there. It was right next to you. But it wasn't the common. didn't see...

what I would perceive to be a bunch of that. There certainly wasn't people going around trying to sell stuff and that kind of stuff. There's probably a heck of a lot more drugs, heck, was probably a lot more drugs at the Motley Crue concert that I'm talking about than what we went to. And there were some other signs that this is a, you know, hey, let's keep this in check kind of thing. In the restrooms, the way they did it is you go in and then there were just walls of stalls.

extremely clean, holy cow. But there was a sign that said, only one person per stall, otherwise you'll be kicked out. So either that's the drugs or the nookie, but they're at least trying to keep both of those out of the stalls. okay, let's talk about the vibe a little, even more, when it's crowded like that, when we've been to ⁓ a show at say, Deep Elements Trees back in the day, and you're trying to get through to get your beer, you know.

that when you leave that spot, you're screwed, you're never getting back to that spot. Well now, in this show, when you're walking through, when people see, you're walking through, they kind of just let you go. It seemed like people were just willing to be considerate of other people, which is, well heck, we could probably use a lot more of that just in society in general. Not that I'm suggesting raves as the solve to all of our cultural problems, but. ⁓

Clancy Denton (12:24)
area.

That has been the consensus that Tanner has talked about since he started going to these big music events and he said, everyone is just nice. I can't recall any time that he has talked about, this guy got into a fight in front of me or we got into it with the, I haven't heard any of that. It's just always been.

Rick Denton (12:59)
Let's talk about the Cure show that we went to. Remember there was that, like the girl that got in a fight with the security guard or something like that. She was 100%. So it was kind of nice to be in a setting like that. Now, of course, I'm sure there's something bad that's happened there to somebody on a one-off, but as an overall, I was really impressed and pleased and just happy with the energy that was there. Now, do I intend to make a habit of this?

Clancy Denton (13:07)
And she was probably our age. ⁓

And I love it because Tanner just went to a big one out in Orlando with several of his friends and he sent a picture and I was showing it to Rick and I said, okay, look, this one's in law school. This one's a financial planner. This one works for Toyota. This one, I mean, it was just so funny. seeing all these kids who are professionals.

that they just love this music and they just want to still do these kind of things. I love it.

Rick Denton (14:04)
Yeah, I'm sure no different than like the hair metal bands of our era that these are now the CEOs. That'll be the Kirby wearing gear is going to be the future leaders of our world going forward.

Clancy Denton (14:19)
Yeah,

so that was Sunday night before Thanksgiving break kicked off. Monday, we were dragging a little bit. I was glad that we didn't have too, too much to do. I had some food shopping to do, but luckily I had already decorated everything because I wanted it to all be set for when Teagan got back on Wednesday or Tuesday night for Thanksgiving break.

So that was what we were going into. And we are so thankful for you guys. We hit a milestone this week that we have now over a thousand followers on our Facebook page. Thanks y'all. And yes, we just really appreciate it. And we do have a smaller community group as well on Facebook and you can find all the information about that at theloudquiet.com.

Rick Denton (15:11)
Yeah, is something that is, it warms our heart to see this community growing, building. And even this week, we saw signs of even more kind of supporting each other and ideas and just encouragement that's going on out there. You know, that energy that we felt of the EDM show and all of that. We carried that into Thanksgiving week. Now, you're absolutely right about dragging on Monday. I needed a recovery day.

but then it was right back to it when we started with getting Teagan on Tuesday.

Clancy Denton (15:39)
And we already had a couple things in mind planned, but I mean, this Thanksgiving break, and maybe I say this, but every year, but not, I don't think I do. But this one was just really, I really enjoyed this Thanksgiving break. And I do think that a huge part of it too was because, like I said, I had already done all my Christmas decorating, which I told you this morning, I said, I'm doing that now every year. I'm getting it all done before.

because it feels like when you wait until the day or weekend after Thanksgiving, you've done all this meal prep and then you have to go back into work mode. we were with my family on Thanksgiving Day and then.

Friday, we were like, okay, let's all there's a couple of football games, you know, that was the rival between ASU and U of A and UT and A and And so we were like, okay, let's go watch it somewhere. Hook them. And so we ended up with Tanner's girlfriend's family, who we are friends with as well, you know, at a sports bar, watching the games. We went to dinners, we went to brunch. we had

Movies and martinis in the middle of the day. I mean it was just a lot of fun and again just Saying yes, and I was also proud that Teagan was just right in there doing everything with us. Sometimes she Needs a little shutdown time, but she just went with the flow and and it was just fun

Rick Denton (17:13)
This one, you and I had talked about really anticipating this Thanksgiving period. And there's nothing overly unique about this one as compared to years past in the sense that Tanner is here local, Teagan is the one that's away.

this one just felt like, almost like we found our rhythm. Maybe that's what I'm trying to get to is okay, boom, the kids are back, but we're immediately in our rhythm. And it was this chance to just be that ecosystem of four again. And yeah, we're recording this minutes after dropping Teagan off. And I'm...

looking forward to being with just you again. I said this to you I think yesterday that hey I'm just coming back to the the room and I'm just here to sit next to you because we haven't just been next to each other even. So I'm looking forward to that. It just was so much fun having them back, having Tanner staying here in the house for a few nights.

Clancy Denton (18:06)
And I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure what he was going to do because he has his own place now. Now, thank goodness, his girlfriend lives in Frisco or her family lives in Frisco. So she was up here too. And so, you know, but I wasn't sure. was like, is he and he did, he stayed all the way. You know, we went to church this morning and then went to brunch And, you know, so I'm again, so thankful.

Rick Denton (18:19)
was an evident debate.

Clancy Denton (18:33)
that that situation has come into play that it kind of forces him to be up here for holidays when he loves to be home though too. He would have come probably anyways, but he might not have stayed all the way through.

Rick Denton (18:51)
Nah,

probably not. And it does help that it's reasonably close. He didn't have to get on a plane or anything like that. kudos to us, we try to still make it comfortable for him with a lot of all the foods that you could possibly want, a comfortable place to sleep, and any of the beverages that you might want as well. it was great to have this. It does make you wonder what our holiday's gonna be like going forward.

Clancy Denton (19:16)
I think I just try to, I think that's maybe another reason that I just really enjoyed this one so much because I don't know what it's going to look like going forward. know, luckily we are close with, his girlfriend's family. but.

They have extended family too. I'm not sure how things are going to be split in the years to come. This year they both decided that they were just still gonna be with their own families for the day. which I appreciated and I appreciate that they both wanted that for both of their parents. But yes, it will be interesting. We also have the Austin component.

Rick Denton (20:05)
You know, I thinking about that as we had to evolve into our rhythms, and we've talked about changes along the way, you know, when you had kids and Christmas and different things like that. Somehow, when I was growing up, I didn't have a role model of that because my grandmother on my mom's side always came to Austin. So growing up, I only had, we always did Austin, we...

always did it with my family and then by extension my dad's extended family. That was all I knew. Then when you and I started dating, when we got engaged, when we got married, we had to figure out how to do those rotations and it all worked together. And then when Rachel, my sister, got her family, somehow all it, the whole just massive clockwork formed and it worked.

I don't know what that's gonna look like going forward. Not just what we're talking about here, but now with my mom having passed away, so both of my parents are gone, with Nana, the matriarch of the family, having passed this year, I don't know what this is going to look like. And even with my extended cousins and who I love spending time with, well, they're moving to Lubbock. Are they gonna migrate towards Lubbock? And so what does that mean going forward? I gotta tell ya, I'm kind of adrift. If I spend time thinking about it, I...

melancholy is the wrong word. I think I just feel disoriented and adrift and I just shove that down. Which then I guess shoving it down is not the right choice but I get to really enjoy this holiday because I just live in this moment not knowing what the future

Clancy Denton (21:44)
Yeah,

I just don't know and you know your sister and I were texting you know all throughout Thanksgiving because we were both making Nana's dressing and The recipe is not Real detailed so we were like how did yours come out? did yours come out? We need to make notes on what we did and everything so you know I still feel connected in that sense, but you know we're sitting here going

when are we gonna go to Austin really to see your sister and her family? You know, we can't, yeah. don't know when we're, because they're also leaving too to go on a cruise. Teagan doesn't get home until the 18th we already have stuff that entire weekend booked, so.

Rick Denton (22:30)
I can see why extended families say, screw it, we're all just gonna go travel and not even try to figure that out, right? I wouldn't do a cruise, can we all just find some island that we all go together and holiday up that way? It's very disorienting. Now, I also can look back on what I just said at the beginning and say, well, we figured it out and it's gonna get figured out. I know this, I just want to have big holidays. And I didn't have, there are some folks that have like the ⁓ 60,

people kind of, you multiple hotels, multiple venue kind of thing. I don't mean that, but I really enjoyed Austin when it was a lot of folks. I really enjoy when we're with your parents and it's a lot of folks. I want to recreate that in whatever this looks like going forward. And right now, especially when I think of just specifically the Austin side, I don't know how or what that looks like. And it's got me adrift.

Clancy Denton (23:22)
Yeah, think that's why my heart was just so full this week. And I talked to my older brother today who's in Germany, they're coming home Friday. I just am really looking forward to, I almost feel like,

because we're at the stage that we are and have the business that we do, I feel like, okay, we're just in holiday mode from now until, you know.

Rick Denton (23:53)
Let me tell you, I'm not feeling that right now. There's a lot of things on the old plate.

Clancy Denton (23:57)
We already

have, you know, there's Christmas things planned that are, you know, not just revolving around Christmas. There's, you know, just there's a lot of fun things to be had. I know like today at brunch, you know, three of them of the kids, you know, are headed back into, you know, finals right now, two for grad school, one for undergrad. And so I'm sure they're, you know.

counting down the days when that is done.

Rick Denton (24:30)
I'm with you there. There's a lot of fun things on the rise. I'm definitely looking forward to that. I'm glad that this year we've thought and planned some of those in advance. think, heck, this could be an episode in and of itself. How do you segment? Because I think that's what I'm gonna need to do a really good job of is on these two days, all business, all the time, and then enjoy the rest or whatever that looks like. Or if it's, hey, look, we got one, two weeks, get it all done and then.

shut it off, whatever that looks like.

Clancy Denton (24:58)
I know we have things to do. just am choosing not to think about it. I'm still enjoying, today is Sunday. I'm still enjoying my holiday high. So let me have my holiday high.

Rick Denton (25:13)
I think we will let you enjoy your holiday high. And I hope that all of y'all enjoyed your holiday high and are going to continue to enjoy your holiday high. Hey, let us know about your holiday high. Head over to that Facebook community group. Again, you can find it if you aren't already a member at theloudquiet.com. Tell us your holiday high story.

Clancy Denton (25:33)
Yeah, or tell us how you deal with blending families across the holidays, because we're definitely going to need tips, I'm sure.

Rick Denton (25:42)
That's gonna be a-

Yeah, can y'all share some ideas please? I love

Clancy Denton (25:47)
so I'm going to leave here still on my holiday high. I hope you will too. And thank you guys for listening to another episode of The Loud Quiet.